After many tirades, much frustration and more insults than we care to remember, the Mail & Guardian decided to rope in the services of Agony Aunty Anele to give online commenters a bit of advice on how to deal with their anger. Starting with advice to True Patriot, she moved on to M&G favourites The Moxster, Australia_is_Great, and White Trash.
But why has all the interesting debate died down?
Instead of advising a specific commenter, Aunty Anele has decided to do things a bit differently this time around.
Dearest commenters
I was so bored while watching the comment queue this past week that I nearly finished my week-old box of Easter eggs (yes, the ENTIRE box). What’s going on with everyone? Taken one too many chill pills? Or maybe the cricket has everyone on the edge of their seats. You know what they say: the fastest way to get a nation together is through sport.
I know we started this column — agony auntie to rabid commenter — in the interests of healthy commenting. But I didn’t mean boring. These light and fluffy feelings cannot last forever: I’ll cease to have a purpose.
So, out of sheer boredom — and slight fear for my day job — I decided to jot down the top three reasons why I’m so disappointed.
Save SA Vote DA
Well talk about taking the fun out of guessing. With most commenters it’s a bit of a game, you know? They drop a hint about the revolution and the colour yellow. We put two and two together and hey presto, we’ve got an ANC supporter on our hands. But no, you had to nail your blue colours to the mast from the get-go. Which is fine as you’ve been so extremely politically correct in all your comments. Almost aggravatingly so.
Come on, you have the ability to be the biggest commenter on this site yet. With a name like that you’re bound to get a few people’s undies in a knot, so why not use that to your advantage? You made an appearance in our comment queues just in time for the local government election season, and have been subtly canvassing ever since.
Take it up a notch. Just don’t take tips from True Patriot on how to be agonisingly annoying, or White Trash on how to hate more than anyone else I’ve come across. But go ahead and get a few arms into the air. Just a caveat though: we all know that no one nags as much as the DA does, so don’t become THAT typical.
I am not Verashni, I am not Verashni, I am not Verashni
Ok everyone, I don’t know how many times one has to say this, but Verashni Pillay is NOT Aunty Anele. Get it? NOT Aunty Anele. She’s way too busy being online deputy editor to be focusing on your issues. In any case, I am hurt any of you think I work at the M&G and taunt you just because I can. What kind of a person do you think I am? A bored sub with nothing else to do? No my dear commenters. I was brought here to specifically deal with your comments, both inane and unhealthy.
What is this “apartheid” you speak of?
We’re a nation of denialists, aren’t we? “HIV does not cause Aids”, “there is no billing crisis”, and the best one yet: “Apartheid? Still?” Yes, commenters, the divisions still exist. I would really love to know on what grounds anyone believes our nation should just jump to being a normal society with no anger in the space of 17 years?
And I concur that this is no excuse for someone to sit back and wait for handouts. Look at me, previously disadvantaged and I made a job for myself helping you all through your various neuroses. However, you cannot walk around with your head in the sand complaining that we should “move on”. You move on from a partner, pet, course of food, or colour. You cannot move on from generations of pain. So just stop with that. Find something else to fall back on, give constructive criticism and let’s build together, no?
So to sum up: Save SA Vote DA: Please try to invoke a little more debate because my brain is dying; I AM NOT VERASHNI; and no, we cannot just move on.
Yours in interesting commenting
Aunty Anele