Urinals – target the urinals!

Dear Mavericks

I’m writing regarding your flying banner circling Cape Town regularly and travelling all the way to what appears to be Yzerfontein up the West Coast.

Let me start by commending you on taking to the skies to advertise your establishment. To my knowledge, no other local brands other than SAA, Kulula and Mango are occupying airspace in an effort to lure customers. It truly is a maverick way of going about things. Bravo!

As an advertising professional, I do, however, think you’re missing a trick or two. I’ve calculated, half of what you’re spending on petrol helping that small plane (is it a Cessna?) overcome drag is going to waste because you’re talking to half of Cape Town’s consumer base: men.

I don’t have the research to support it but I would say that all the women who see your banner don’t feel the urge to drop everything and head over to Mavericks.

Fear not, there have been remarkable advances in marketing. The trend today is targeted advertising. Your target audience frequent men’s rooms — “man caves” in basements and, of course, your outlet. Here, they’re what’s known as a “captive audience” and ripe for the picking. This is where you want to place your ads. A man held captive at the urinal is much more likely to grunt, snort and think to himself “Fuck, time to go to Mavericks” than a man cruising along the N1, his wife by his side, the Mavericks banner just above his eyeline. Captive advertising has been proven to work time and again. It’s worth a shot.

On to another piece of advice. I’ve noticed a lack of imagery on the flying banner. Adding imagery is not my advice. On the contrary, allow me to doff my hat. You’ve obviously worked out that children are wildly attracted to planes flying banners and have, therefore, refrained from showing anything provocative on the banner so as not to scar them for life. My advice is, return to the drawing board and follow that line of thinking just a touch further. “Push it,” as we say in the industry.

What you’ll find is, your flying image-free advertisement — ipso facto, your logo — is offensive to women. Parading it up in the sky for all and sundry to see — like a Playboy centrefold flapping in the wind —makes for horrible viewing if you’re not a man or, like me, haven’t felt the need to get my kicks at Mavericks since the acne cleared up.

It would be a great idea to ground the plane forever and return to your marketing strengths, which include flyers and a tiny ad on the sports page. “Tickey boxes” have long left the public sphere and that’s a shame, for it was fertile advertising ground. As a replacement, may I suggest Metrorail carriages? If the penis enlargement industry’s market research is to be trusted, this is where your target market is hanging.

And don’t worry about production costs. The penis enlargement guys have struck a formula that requires nothing more than a photocopier.

Simplicity is key.


JS Smit

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