Tom Eaton Pitch
Guest Author
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/ 25 March 2005

101 ways to end a career

”Sports journalism is an oxymoron. I’m not being unkind by saying so. Find a sports journalist, perhaps sleeping under a pool table on the East Rand, the widening moat of drool spreading under his unshaven cheek reflecting the pole-dancer’s neon panties. Peel the Lucky Strike from behind his ear and light it for him. Then ask him what he does for a living.” Tom Eaton bids farewell from his last Pitch & Mutter column.

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/ 18 March 2005

Park of darkness

The fag-end of a Cape Town summer is a bad-tempered swelter. The heat is frayed, its December esprit evaporated with the ice-cream and tourists. What remains is an exhausted, impatient shimmer of cracking tar and acres of council-planted kindling. On Sunday I took a slow boat through the choked backwaters of that sluggish, steaming, backward city.

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/ 17 March 2005

Exhibitionists, one and all

By far the most popular attractions each year at Sasol SciFest, the exhibitions are set to outdo themselves this year with the return of old favourites, some fresh young blood and the winners of last year’s best exhibit awards. Running each day of the festival, the exhibitions are open from 9am to 5pm. Entrance is free.

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/ 17 March 2005

Viva Thuthuka

Putting women at the forefront of scientific research has been one of the greatest challenges of the National Research Foundation (NRF). The object of the NRF is to support and promote research through funding, human resource development and the provision of research facilities, in order to facilitate the creation of knowledge, innovation and development in all fields of science and technology.

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/ 11 March 2005

A new dictionary of received ideas (III)

"The audience was now openly hostile, its mute boredom transformed into a continuous murmur of discontent, like angry bees massing in the heat of summer. He thought he saw the glint of a dagger under a toga. It was time for the pontification to end. Just two more minutes, he thought, and plunged on -" Tom Eaton presents the final instalment of the Dictionary of Received Ideas.

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/ 18 February 2005

You’ll never walk again

Those who attack American interests around the globe, who incite peaceful native populations to fanaticism and violence, and who undermine democracy must expect swift and decisive action by the United States and its military. This was the word from US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on Friday as she outlined her country’s plans to invade Manchester.

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/ 17 February 2005

‘Don’t chase Zim invite’

Revelations that South Africa attempted to stop a Southern African Development Community (SADC) judicial delegation, declaring the mission “unnecessary”, have resulted in confusion about the country’s approach to the upcoming election in Zimbabwe. The legal team was meant to precede and inform a broader SADC observer mission.

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/ 11 February 2005

Great white hope

In the words of Bobby Kennedy, there’s nothing like a good old-fashioned race riot. No sir, said Bobby one day while we were dynamiting for trout in the Oswald Pirow dam, you can’t beat watching tolerance-mongering New Englanders give in to the overwhelming urge to leave tyre-iron-shaped depressions in ‘fros, or iron-willed Nation of Islam acolytes renounce their pacifism just long enough to perform avante garde rhinoplasties on smug beaky Caucasian noses with baseball bats.