Nobuhle Radebe. Photo: Supplied
If I were to ask you how you are right now, I already know the answer. You are tired.
Bone-deep tired. The kind of tired that rest does not always fix. I know that Dezemba came and went, and instead of slowing down, you had to be everything to everyone; the planner, the cook, the emotional anchor, the safe place. And you know what – that is totally valid. I get it.
But mama here’s the truth we don’t talk about enough and that is, at some point you have to choose yourself. And what does that look like in 2026?
Grab a coffee and let’s dig. Here are five Dos and Don’ts to help you set yourself up for a better year ahead, one where you are no longer last on the list.
DO wake up before the rest of the house
Please DON’T wait for “quiet time” to magically appear because it won’t. I say this gently, while holding your hand. Your peace lives in the hours when no one else is awake. Even 30 minutes before the house wakes up can change everything for you. Your nervous system, your patience, your clarity.
This is the time to pray, journal, stretch, sit in silence or simply breathe without being needed by any of the people that I know you love. Listen when I say that waiting for rest later in the day rarely works out.
I can’t tell you how many times this has had me on my yoga mat with a four-year-old and a one-year-old using me as a jungle gym while I was in Warrior II pose.
DO create a “uniform” for yourself
Girl, DON’T waste energy on daily outfit decisions. Steve Jobs was on to something. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, having a simple uniform is a game-changer.
What I can say with my chest (that’s feeding and sustaining a one-year-old) is that it’s done wonders for me.
Decision fatigue is so real. As moms, we make thousands of macro and micro decisions daily from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep (and sometimes even in our dreams; if you know you know). Reduce the small decisions so you have capacity for the important ones.
This is so good for you because this means that you will do less thinking which will result in feeling less overwhelmed. And ultimately more at ease. Yay to being a regulated mamacita in 2026!
DO plan your week
DON’T let the week ambush you. What used to catch me off-guard was not the big things. It was the small, unplanned ones. School requirements, grocery runs, appointments, content deadlines and emotional check-ins with everyone else because we’re not just moms, right?
Planning your week doesn’t mean controlling everything. It means supporting your future self.
My favourite moments are when I realise that I did something in the past to help my future self.
It always feels like a hug that I needed. So, ask yourself a few questions; what do I already know is coming? Where do I need support? Where do I need margin? Structure creates safety, I know it’s boring but guess what? So is rushing as if you are the last to know that things need to get done, especially for a tired nervous system.
DO regulate your nervous system daily
DON’T rely on survival-mode coping, this is something that is always sure to make your day even more out of control. If there is one thing that this past year has taught me is that pushing through is not the same as being okay.
Nervous system regulation can look like: body-based movement, breathing intentionally, prayer and grounding, therapy or somatic practices. It can also look like reducing stimulants and crutches you’ve outgrown.
For me it has to be doom-scrolling. So look at something that once helped you cope but now keeps you stuck. It may be time to release it, not from guilt but from growth. You absolutely deserve to feel present and not just functional.
DO anchor yourself spiritually and emotionally
DON’T pour from an empty cup. I know we say this all the time but actually put it into practice. You cannot mother, build, lead and love well without being filled yourself.
Whether that looks like returning to God daily, speaking affirmations over yourself or journaling honestly.
Asking for help without apologising. Your inner life matters so much because it was there way before anyone else.
When you are grounded, your home feels it. When you are supported, your children benefit. Choosing you is not selfish, it’s something that is actually so foundational.
Final Word. Mama, 2026 doesn’t need a new version of you. It needs a regulated, rested, intentional you. Start small.
Be kind to yourself. And remember that choosing yourself does not mean that you are abandoning anyone, instead it’s finally including you.