Staff Reporter

Spare a thought for Russell Loubser this Christmas. If the buyouts of listed companies continue, the JSE’s CE may find himself presiding over a stock market that’s merely a shadow of its former self. Already, the private equity sharks are circling and have a number of kills under their belts. More are expected in the new year.

Diehard Afrikaners living in South Africa’s sole whites-only town, Orania, on Tuesday said the settlement of a land claim is a boost for their quest for self-sufficiency and independence. "We’re very satisfied that the claim lodged by about 80 people was settled on Monday and that the state is paying them R2,9 million," town spokesperson Eleanor Lombard told the media by telephone.

The adventure would not be out of place in an anthology of ancient tales of foolhardy mariners. A pensioner who set sail for the Caribbean in a homemade boat because he liked pictures of the tropical islands has reached his destination after overcoming violent storms, shipwrecks, burglary, severe damage to his vessel and eight months marooned in Norfolk.

The Goof, as Walt Disney called him, is back. Nearly 50 years after Disney shifted focus from short cartoons to feature-length animation, the company has decided to return to the form. The first short will be a reprise of the "how to" series popular in the 40s and 50s in which Goofy plays the American Everydog, befuddled by the complexities of modern life.

If Afghanistan had a tourist industry, the postcard-pretty Korengal Valley would be a star attraction. Majestic mountains soar to the heavens. Sunlight spills over terraced fields. Gleaming snow dusts the jagged peaks. But for the United States soldiers stationed there, Korengal is IED Valley, a perilous, exhausting battlefield and the heart of the US war against al-Qaeda in Afghanistan.

Research in Kenya indicates that the rapid spread of HIV/Aids across Africa is linked to malaria. “We knew the relationship, but not the impact it had on the spread. Now we have a reference point,” says Ayub Manya, an epidemiologist with the Kenyan National Malaria Control Programme.

No one will ever know how many Chinese men — and women — were sexually satisfied after taking the American Number One, Male Exclusive, Great Big Brother pills sold by Xi Yongli. When the product was raised in court recently, it was not its potency that was on trial. Rather, it was the legality of using a drug better known as Viagra.

The world’s newest country, Montenegro, is threatened by a possible constitutional crisis because its leaders can’t agree on the name of the language they speak, reports said on Monday. The government, which led Montenegro to independence earlier this year, wants to make the official language Montenegrin — but a large majority of the tiny Balkan state’s people believe they speak Serbian.

Reserve Bank Governor Tito Mboweni’s Christmas present to South Africans will be money that costs more. Mboweni and the bank’s monetary policy committee meet on December 6 and 7 to decide on interest rates. Analysts say an interest rate hike of at least 50 basis points is a done deal, but retailers are gearing up for a record-breaking festive season.

Being called a "hard-nosed sceptic" is one of the greatest compliments you can receive as a journalist or economic commentator. To be described thus by the president of the country is a rare honour — and I am not engaging in the searing sarcasm the president has visited on those he deems out of line.

It seems like a title guaranteed to make an audience groan: Rocky VI. It’s star is old, the franchise is worn out and the idea of a 60-year-old boxer is ridiculous. But Sylvester Stallone and the creators of the final addition to the Rocky stable have gone all out to market the movie, not to sports fans, but to Christians. Rocky, it turns out, is a metaphor for Jesus.

Taxpayers are to foot a massive bill for the government-mandated inquiry into Corpcapital after inspectors exonerated the company on every major charge levelled against it by former director Nic Frangos. That is because the Companies Act has no provision to compel people who bring spurious complaints to the minister of trade and industry to pay for any investigation he may order.

The leadership contest in the Democratic Alliance (DA) is shaping up as a three-horse race between Cape Town mayor Helen Zille, party strategist Ryan Coetzee and Eastern Cape leader Athol Trollip. None has yet made a definitive announcement about running, but each has significant backing among party heavyweights.

An eleventh-hour attempt by National Director of Public Prosecutions Vusi Pikoli to gag the <i>Mail & Guardian</i> was dismissed, with costs, on Thursday night. Pikoli sought an urgent interdict in the Johannesburg High Court to prevent publication of the articles "I told Selebi about Agliotti" and "Selebi’s Sandton shopping sprees".

Ms Baleka Mbete, Speaker of this august House, wishes it made clear that she will no longer tolerate puns, double entendres, or any facetious allusion whatsoever to the Gautrain and her alleged interests in it. She refers here specifically to a point of order raised by a certain short fat white counter-revolutionary in the House yesterday.