CINEMA: Andrew Worsdale
YOU can relax. Pierce Brosnan makes a fine James Bond in Martin Campbell’s GoldenEye, an otherwise disappointing foray into moviedom’s most successful franchise — 007.
The story revolves around schemers and baddies in the post-Soviet world who are intent on worldwide cataclysm ( as usual ), and that’s the major problem with the film. This has got to be the most unglamorous Bond movie of them all — and setting this kind of adventure in St Petersburg and Siberia doesn’t make things any easier. One misses the kitschiness of Vegas in Diamonds are Forever or the crystal Caribbean of Dr No seconds after thinking that Connery will, of course, always be the best Bond, no matter how hard Brosnan tries. And try he does, with his crow’s-feet, suave smile, and the obligatory hairstyle that doesn’t move an inch during the most hair-raising of action
Taking its title from Bond author Ian Fleming’s home in Jamaica, GoldenEye has all the witty comebacks one expects from the genre, all the usual high-tech gadgets, two gorgeous gals (baddie Famke Janssen, with the double-entendre name Onatopp, and goodie Izabella Scorupco — two supermodel types who look like twins with their full-lipped Eastern European look), a couple of great stunts, a villain with a scarred face who has a comical accomplice and, of course, the classic Bond title sequence, or should one say tittie
This time round they’ve taken pains to be politically correct, with Judi Dench — echoing the reality of MI5 — playing “M”and referring to James as “a sexist, misogynist dinosaur suited to the cold war”. But, unfortunately, all their efforts don’t add up. The movie is slow and probably too boring for children, though the high-tech nature of the plot, which involves satellites, computers and nuclear missiles, might appeal.
And Bond’s being captured, escaping and then being captured again just becomes a reflex, yawn-inducing routine.
The backstory of the film involves loyalty — what is more important: friendship or country, and what happens when your friends betray your country? Who actually cares? Bond movies are supposed to be spectacular, sexy fun, and although Brosnan does well on his first outing as Her Majesty’s loyal little terrier (as the baddie describes him), apart from a spectacular and amusing car chase involving a Russian tank and St Petersburg’s traffic, this particular mission fails to cut the mustard in terms of high-stakes humorous adventure.