* Co-editor Anton Harber expects to be savaged when he attends meetings of the Conference of Editors. However, Oom Krisjan hears that Harber got a savaging of an entirely unexpected nature when he attended the Conference of Editors lunch with the state president at the Mount Nelson Hotel this week: as he was walking up the steps he was attacked by a security guards dog, necessitating a tetanus shot and the loan of the head waiters shirt to replace his own shredded garment.
Now, the manne at the Dorsbult Bar understand that Harber was quite good at making enemies in the security establishment back in the old South Africa, but it seems the new spirit of reconciliation hasnt yet filtered down to the guard dogs. As Oupa van Tonder observed, it looks like a case of not being able to teach an old dog new tricks.
# FLYING TRUE COLOURS
* THERE are also some old dogs in the police force, if this one is anything to go by. A visitor to the Dorsbult Bar tells the story of a Pretoria curio shop which has been doing a brisk trade in new South Africa mementos, especially little replicas of the new flag. Apparently, two policemen were recently browsing in the shop when one of them took it upon himself to explain his understanding of the symbolism of the new flag to the shops proprietor.
He said the blue band represents the sky, the red band the earth (presumably blood-soaked), while the white stripes symbolise the whites and the green Y- shape their mielie fields. The black triangle, he said, represents the countrys blacks.
All very straigtforward, you might think, but what is the significance of the yellow band separating the black triangle and the green Y-shape? According to the cop it represents the blade of the SAP keeping the kaffirs out of our mielies.
# BONDAGE A LA MODE
* IF the above stories of hangovers from the old South Africa are getting you down, dont worry, there are signs of real change all around. For example, a friend of Oom Krisjans recently saw a poster advertising those icons of the old South Africa, the maids uniform.
It seems that enlightened madams who dont want to force their maids to don the pastel-coloured garments of apartheid bondage now have a choice: the poster referred to maids uniforms as now being available in Ethnic or Plain designs.
# LIFE ON THE SOUTHERN TIP
A FIRE that could easily have become a conflagration, has left a room in Glenres gutted, and its inhabitant hospitalised.
Speaking from her hospital bed the victim … recalled the incident. When I fell into deep sleep on my study desk, little did I know the trouble that lay ahead of me, because of the heater that was left on. A cloud of smoke was slowly rising to the ceiling when I snapped out of my sleep. To my extreme shock and bewilderment, a considerable proportion of my bed was in flames … she said.
In sudden hysteria, coupled with loud shouts of fire!, the student blindly ran towards the exit where she jumped one floor down. Although she broke a leg, a source familiar with the incident confirmed that the student was speedily recovering from the bizarre happening and that her life was not at risk. — Varsity (UCT campus newspaper)