The RDP
Appearance: Jelly-like. Difficult to get a grip on, but=20 easy to mould into anything you want.
Not to be confused with: The Reach for a Dream Project.=20 The Reconstruction and Development Programme is also a=20 warehouse of our hopes, but it promises much more than=20 a trip to Disneyland or a Hot Air Balloon ride.=20 Squatters will have homes. Hijackers will have jobs and=20 buy cars. Adolescent acne will vanish.
Life history: Conceived from the knowledge that=20 happiness is hot-and-cold running water, and that=20 misery was money spent on an additional gallows in=20 Venda and a pension for former President-for-Life PW=20 Botha. Has since discovered Real Deep Philosophy and=20 has taken to contemplating everything from the position=20 of its navel to how to transform people’s thoughts.
Age: Still in nappies. It’s doting father, Jay Naidoo,=20 has said that it could take 25 years before we see if=20 it fulfils its potential.
Will anyone still be listening then? Jay has been=20 taking flak about his thing-rearing methods. A recent=20 suggestion is that some old-fashioned parental=20 discipline, like a swift klap on the side of the head,=20 might get it moving faster.
Any particular personality traits? It’s extremely=20 sensitive to criticism. It’s probably safer to stand up=20 on Agenda and announce that apartheid was not only=20 profitable and popular, but should be brought back,=20 than to question its constitutional right to life.
So how should we treat it then? Don’t grumble about the=20 tax you pay. Say something nice about it every day. And=20 hug it often.
Will it help? It will make you feel better. Embracing=20 the RDP demonstrates that you are on the side of the=20 angels. Ask businessmen. They may have been selling=20 widgets and roof tiles for decades, but now they can=20 market them as attractive, affordable, durable — and=20 good for the RDP.
What is the most outlandish claim to be laid at its=20 feet? Winner is Louie Govender of Soweto Arms and=20 Ammunition who said the opening of the first gun shop=20 in the township was a contribution to the RDP, because=20 he was “empowering the people”.
Most exciting moment in its life? June 16, when Jay cut=20 short a television appearance to rush to the side of=20 his wife for the birth of their daughter — proof, at=20 last, that he can actually deliver something.