* Following Oom Krisjan’s observations about the Democratic Party being the party with not only guts but gore as well, the party came out with a new slogan: “Less gravy — more meat”. The manne in the bar, always keen for a braaivleis, are awaiting the next election campaign with interest.
True colours * Talking of politics — Oom Krisjan’s informants in Yeoville tell him that the NP campaign has taken an interesting turn. While the first posters to appear were all in the standard new-Nat sunshine pattern, the most recent ones are in the good old oranje-blanje-blou livery.
Oupa van Tonder is seriously considering joining the NP once more.
Eye of the beholder * But despite the stout efforts of the Nats and the DP, the Dorsbult prize for the best piece of electioneering goes to Solly Zwane, provincial secretary general of the ANC in Mpumalanga. Responding to a disappointing turnout at ANC election rallies in the province, Zwane remarked that “just because the rallies were small doesn’t mean that they were poorly attended”.
Swazi slot * Oom Krisjan was interested to see that King Mswati of Swaziland is taking an extended vacation in the United States, having delayed his return home after the United Nations 50th anniversary summit. Oom Krisjan wonders whether this is connected with the fact that in his absence, his majesty recently suffered the indignity of having his water supply cut off at home, having run up a water bill of half a million rand after a decade of non-payment.
It would appear that the extended stay has enabled his majesty to enjoy a daily bath, pending a no-doubt speedy resolution of the royal dispute with the water board.
Follow the leader * The good citizens of Dorsbult, being tolerant folk, can usually forgive the odd blaps here and there. So no one was too worried last Friday when the Mail & Guardian ran a local election summary in the form of a map which put Nelspruit in the Northern Province and Graaff-Reinet in the Free State.
But the magnanimity of the local folk was strained a little this week when At Naude returned from a trip to the visdorpie with a copy of Tuesday’s Cape Times. The newspaper had reproduced the map complete with relocated towns. Give the Times staff their due though — they proved their creativity by adding in a few mistakes of their own.
Police file * Wragtig, the stories we hear from that pit of vice called Hillbrow … a woman, driving through the suburb, was approached by a street child asking for money. While she was distracted, another youth broke the window on the other side of the car and stole her handbag. The woman went home and phoned the Hillbrow police to tell them what these children were up to. The officer on duty calmly asked her whether she had “apprehended the suspect” — and when she told them she had not, the officer told her there was nothing the police could do.
The manne in the bar wonder whether this heralds the start of do-it-yourself policing.