There are many trouble spots on a tour of India, the worst of which are cuisine, toilets, travel and practice facilities
CRICKET:V Roger Prabasarkar
SOUTH AFRICANS in India seem to be rather unpopular with their countrymen at present, which seems unusual. The rigours of a tour to India usually unite a nation in sympathy at the distress suffered by their loved sporting heroes! Even the English, great laughers at themselves, have chuckled at the loose bowels and general sufferings of their cricketers, rather than criticise them for their grumblings and complaints.
What South Africans seem to be forgetting is that Indians are so used to the same complaints that they would be lost without them! Only very rarely is offence taken, and even then it does not last long. So long as the nation is accused of over-hospitality and not lack of it, then anything can be tolerated. True, the cricket-lovers are terribly enthusiastic and are invariably over-powering, but this is better than apathy, yes?
The concept of personal privacy is a rare one in India. It simply does not exist for the majority of the population, and is therefore not a consideration when approaching the immensely popular South African team for an autograph or a handshake. No matter how inappropriate the moment!
Apart from privacy, the biggest trouble spots appear to be cuisine, toilets, travel and practice facilities. Let it be repeated immediately, none of these difficulties are new. And as with any argument there are many factors to both sides of the argument.
Indian food is heavily oil-based which, according to the South African fitness trainer Paddy Upton (who doubles as dietary expert), is as useful as steriods are to an athlete prior to a drugs test.
“Apart from the fat implications,” explains Upton, “unclean oil is 10 times more likely to cause stomach upsets and diarrhoea than dirty water. The other problem is with chilli, curry and heavy garlic. Only four members of our party – Daryll Cullinan, Allan Donald, Bob Woolmer and myself – can actually eat spicy food without suffering afterwards. Despite asking every chef in every hotel and every ground to cook without oils, butter, chilli and garlic, we often get all four.”
The explanation, as Upton concedes, is that his “no-go” ingredients are considered to be the essence of a good meal! The other problem, in the smaller centres, is the lack of experience in preparing Western “tomato- based pasta dishes” and “grilled chicken” that appear to be the basis of Upton’s requests.
Two arguments spring to mind. Why don’t the South Africans make an attempt to “do as the Romans do” when in Rome? The second, far more relevant point, is why on earth can’t Indians be prepared (logistically, not spiritually) to supply a simple meal that would apparently satisfy the culinary demands of everyone from New Zealanders to Zimbabweans to Englishmen? The answer is simply one of organisation. Preparation has never been a popular Indian degree subject.
The subject of travel itineraries is trickier and, possibly, murkier. While the South African press contingent have enjoyed at least three superior hotels throughout the tour, and have frequently endured more social flying hours than the players, the team are told that they are being given “priority treatment”.
According to one Indian Airlines official, they are being booked on the “first available flight every day that they travel”. While this may sound undeniably preferential, the reality is that the team have now reached double figures in pre- 6:00am wake-up calls in order to make an inevitably arduous trip to the airport.
The press, meanwhile, have risen several hours later and enjoyed a late breakfast before joining the team for their afternoon net session. Part of the problem is the necessity to use Indian Airlines (the official carrier) rather than the private airline that has couriered the press. But the reality is that someone within the corridors of power knew how tiring the “priority” schedule would be. No doubt the same thing occurs elsewhere in the world …
Poor toilet facilities, despite sounding the least important complaint, are actually inexcusable. At five of the last seven venues I have been unable (or unwilling, perhaps) to use the public facilities. Being well dressed and able to communicate with the right people, I have discovered the private toilets of administrative officers and association presidents whenever needed. They have been clean, dry, flushing and even stocked with tissue paper. The toilet facilities within the teams’ changing rooms have often been none of these things. Paddling into puddles and then pouring buckets of water down toilets to flush them may sound vaguely amusing to the casual reader, but competitive spirits can be more challenged by such things than even defeat itself.
There is no excuse. Money is plentiful within the game, but too seldom is it channeled fairly and correctly. A decent place to relax for 10 minutes with the morning newspaper should be every sportsman’s right.
But the lack of net facilities has angered coach Bob Woolmer more than anything else. Throughout the tour he has complained of inadequate training facilities, but his words went unheeded because of the team’s success. Now, when they lose, he says that he has been pilloried for “sour grapes”.
“I see 60 000 capacity stadiums almost everywhere we go,” says Woolmer, “but when I ask – three days in advance – for three nets to practice in, we are given two pieces of old fishing net with holes in it. We are then told that there is no money for nets.”
Woolmer finds this difficult to believe. But he is only half right. There is more than enough money to buy several thousand nets, but the men in charge of fiscal operations do not regard nets as their priority. The men that tell Woolmer there is no money, therefore, are telling the truth. They accept Woolmer’s wrath as calmly and as placidly as they have accepted every other coach’s indignation. The Indian team use the same nets, it must be said, but then their preparation habits are generally 10 years out of date.
`My biggest fear,” says Woolmer, “is that the team will return to South Africa for another six Tests completely out of form! They haven’t been able to keep themselves in touch.” Incidentally, Woolmer’s complete disregard for the issue of sour grapes makes it very likely that he is not suffering from the indigestion of defeat at all. “I have said nothing different now to what I’ve said all along.
“Anyway,” he adds with a smile, “I should bloody well hope I’m suffering from sour grapes. I hate losing!!”
As the South African team face the most difficult challenge on their still-young reborn international career, pehaps their difficulties can be placed in one last perspective. India’s most famously recognised possession is its poverty.
Upon this background are frequently painted the out-of-context complaints of “spoilt” Westerners. For tourists there is no excuse; come to India and you’d better “do as the Indians do”, and shut up if you don’t like it. But for professional workers, trying to perform at their best in an alien environment in which they did not choose to be, conditions should be better. You see, poverty can be a powerful camouflage and Indians do sometimes hide.
ENDS