Marthali Brand went to the opening of Graceland, the garish new casino in Mpumalanga
Why is it that all roads to South African casinos lead through squatter camps? On my way to the opening of the first fully functional casino in the new South Africa, all I could think of as our luxury coach travelled through yet another dirt-poor community was how many children could be fed or taxi fares paid with the small fortune Global Resorts was lavishing on this contingent of journalists in the hope of convincing us that their newest establishment, Graceland Hotel, Casino and Country Club, was A Good Thing.
If the sight of rows and rows of dust- blown, smoke-filled shacks had such a negative effect on a cynical journalist on the way to an evening’s free bourbon and cigars, imagine what it would (or should) do to prospective casino customers planning to spend their own money.
A huge billboard features an Annie Oakley lookalike entreating us to “taste the spirit of America”. maybe the gambling bosses thought that placing it in the middle of Leandra, Secunda’s closest township, would imbue us with such longing that we’d promptly forget that most people in the area earn less in a month than the cost of one night in the cheapest room at the four-star Graceland hotel.
On arrival at the resort, which looks like a cross between a riverboat on the Mississippi and a mansion from Gone with the Wind, I was struck by the complete inappropriateness of the location. The pink-and-baby-blue monstrosity stands a few kilometres from Sasol I and Sasol II. Taking in this view from the lounge of the Augusta Club, where we were sipping champagne and snacking on biltong and dried mango, I felt like Mr Burns from The Simpsons, admiring the pollution pouring from his nuclear power plant. I shudder to think what the emanations from the two oil- processing facilities are going to do to the lungs of those who can afford to make use of Graceland’s magnificent golf course.
Compre David Hall-Green (where did they dig him up?) assured us that Graceland is a “distillation of all that America is today”, but failed to explain why that was supposed to impress us. After a few jokes that fell remarkably flat, he introduced Global Resorts’s marketing director, Mark Jakins, who explained to us that the first thing they taught all the new Graceland staff was to greet customers with a cheery “How y’all doin’?”. Fortunately we were swept through the foyer and to our rooms so quickly that we didn’t have a chance to be greeted, because the thought of all those local tongues – Graceland, according to Secunda’s deputy mayor Sipho Nkosi, employs mostly inhabitants of the town – trying to get around “y’all” was enough to put me off my Mot.
On a guided tour around the resort we were shown exactly what it takes to capture the spirit of America in the heart of the Highveld. Apart from the Blue Bayou restaurant – here we admittedly enjoyed a fabulous dinner and great blues – and the Augusta Club, Graceland boasts a sidewalk- style American caf with a New York deli counter and a “Little Italy”.
The Texas Grill apparently has “real man- appeal” and the Cape Cod prides itself on seafood gumbo and Huckleberry’s Catch of the Day (I wonder if they serve that with Uncle Jim’s Special Slaver’s Sauce?) . For entertainment, there’s Buffalo Bill’s showbar, where the Rocking Horse duo was entertaining the audience with never- forgotten classics like Elton John’s Nikita.
Then, of course, there’s gambling. Graceland has a floor of 408 slot machines – from the Aristocrats which take 1c bets to the R25 machines – and 15 tables for roulette, blackjack and poker. And, no matter what our hostess from Speakers’ Corner told us about the casino aiming to attract the high-rollers to inject some much-needed cash into the area, it was evident that this gambling facility was going to be no different from all the rest.
The slot machines were spinning with coins from the neon wallets and plastic bags of those who can least afford it. What good does it do to provide employment for the people of Secunda if Graceland is just going to entice their families to gamble their wages away at the casino the day after payday?