Maureen Barnes Down the tube
Without wishing to rub salt into e.tv’s wounds, I noticed that all the recent press schedules for the troubled service show a daily half hour news bulletin at 7pm which hasn’t yet materialised. In its place was a British sitcom, the name of which I don’t know, followed by a serialisation of the David Lean film, Ryan’s Daughter – one of the maestro’s few cinematicflops.
Both programmes had South African connections – the latter because many of the outdoor scenes were filmed on Cape Town’s Noordhoek beach, and the former for the appearance of former local lad, Henry Goodman.
One of our most popular local actors of the Eighties, the talented Goodman, not surprisingly, left us for a bigger pond. Apparently he’s done very well over there, but you’d never know it from this potboiler.
In its attempts to infuse local stuff into its scheduling, e.tv seems to have bought the same pup that M-Net fell for almost two years ago. M-Net bought a 13-part series on the strength of a short pilot production made with the help of a reputable production house, which decided not to complete the series.
At the time several professionals, including a cameraman, walked out amid allegations of amateurism aimed at Rory Wolman, the executive producer and director of the series. M-Net didn’t repeat its error.
Although Fashion Fusion (Saturdays, 18:30) bills itself as revealing “the latest in local and international fashion trends” it is nothing more than a home-shopping show and should be billed as such. Everything is sponsored, otherwise it doesn’t get a mention.
South African television’s lack of funds (or perhaps it is more their reluctance to spend them on making programmes) creates more than one sponsored programme purporting to be creative specialist. While it is difficult to know how this can be avoided, it is as well for us viewers to question money advice paid for by a bank, sports philosophy paid for by a sponsor, or automobile intelligence paid for by a car manufacturer.
Although a huge industry, sponsored fashion does not really carry the same dangers as some other topics, but there still remains the question of moderation.
Too much overt sponsorship tied to products and credibility is lost. Fashion Fusion shows neither moderation nor judgment and consequently has no credibility whatsoever.
It is presented by Nadine Bainbridge whose claim to fame is that her partner in life is none other than Rory Wolman. The adenoidal Bainbridge – who could compete with SABC3 announcer, Iris Bester, for the title of The Worst Voice on TV- is billed as “anchor presenter” but tautology is the least of her problems.
The general lack of expertise is obvious in a script which reveals a lack of even basic research and consists of Bainbridge saying things like “What do you think?” and leaving the guest to twitter along happily.
Last Saturday’s episode on men’s
fashions showed an American fashion show. “Fashion Fusion flew to New York,” said Bainbridge, which may or may not be true, but I doubt it. We were told zilch about the clothes. All we saw was a succession of dark suits on handsome young men coming towards the camera to the accompaniment of blaring music.
Later Bainbridge appeared at a local charity fashion show for Aids infected babies. “Thanks for supporting this cause and enjoy the show,” she burbled – which sounded suspiciously like taking credit for the event. Here again, we weren’t told a thing about the clothes or the designers – possibly because none of them would cough up.
We were shown a lengthy segment on automobiles of the make which the “anchor presenter only drives”. The cars were filmed on the slant – Fashion Fusion is fond of odd camera angles which they presumably hope will inject a bit of life into the boring material – while Bainbridge raved about the design. I’d probably rave a bit myself if crazy cars would give me one to drive.
Any gaps in this episode were covered by a long drawn out Vanessa Mae video – courtesy of someone or other.
We were released only after reading
about the donors of the presenters’ skin care range, shoes, clothes; about their car hire firm, the airline on which they always fly and the hotels where they all lay their little heads.
Only the toilet paper they use remains undisclosed . but I imagine they’re working on that.