Paul Kirk
In the strangest address to the KwaZulu- Natal legislature for years, Dumisane Makhaye, the provincial housing MEC and an African National Congress national executive committee member, this week turned a speech on racism into a play recital.
The play, an untitled Makhaye production, is so disjointed as to be barely comprehensible, but has nevertheless been slated by the opposition Democratic Party which is reporting Makhaye to the Jewish Board of Deputies and the Human Rights Commission for anti-Semitism and racism.
Other parties in the legislature either laughed at the speech or listened incredulously at the offering, which attacks key Inkatha Freedom Party and DP figures.
Makhaye’s play opens with a national anthem composed of only six words and two sentences repeated endlessly: “White is wit. Black is bad.”
The characters in the play all go by names, which the DP claims refer mostly to its politicians.
The play opens with General Millennium, one of the play’s main characters, commenting that the “very continued existence of the white race is under threat. The K .’s have voted overwhelmingly for the commies, the CNA’s.”
A Professor Schalk – a character the DP presume represents FW de Klerk – is then introduced who explains that while “they” have the numbers, “we” have the brains.
He explains that while “they” have Parliament, he has the “power of the gossipers, the power of deceit and manipulation.” The DP suspects the gossipers represent the press.
A Tony Light – supposedly Tony Leon – enters and agrees that the group use their “gossipers in the gossip chambers”. Says Light: “When the Grand Collusion Committee complains about our chief gossipers we shall evoke freedom of gossip. That will stick.”
He adds: “We must fight back. Affirmative action is racism in reverse. It wants to destroy centres of excellence. It promotes incompetence. You see, every black appointment is affirmative action.”
Light cuts his speech short to train for the Comrades marathon, but not before saying: “If a white man wins, these K …’s will complain again.” Ira Cruz, who the DP claim represents Ina Cronje, a former member of the Progressive Federal Party who joined the ANC – points out the race is not fair. Light’s starting line is in Durban, a Thami Msomi has to start in Ulundi.
Confusingly another character, Petros Miles – supposedly the IFP’s Peter Miller – appears and suggests the players pit the CNA against the PFI, and that in the confusion the “Tony Light Club” can step in and “help defuse the K…’s”.
Later, Tony Light’s wife, Israel, enters – a reference, the DP believes, to its leader’s Jewish girlfriend.
She says: “Oh you are back my darling, I can’t take my eyes away from that gold medal you won. You won it on merit, my protozotopa.”
When Light tells his wife he hugged “this boy, Thami” who came 10th in the race she tells him to go to the bathroom and wash with Dettol.
Makhaye opts for another scene change, with Msomi asking how to achieve a non- racist society. “Throw whites into the sea, M’Afrika,” is the reply a new character called Cap gives.
Having said this, Cap is admonished by Msomi who says this is the sort of statement Tony Light would want. Says Msomi: “Not all whites are racist … There are many white compatriots who have nothing to do with racism but simply need direction. They need leadership. You will not provide leadership by throwing them into the sea.”
The DP’s Roger Burrows said of the play: “We will definitely be taking this ‘play reading’ further. It is not only offensive but also anti-Semitic and racist.”