Di Soutter
Capetonian Judy Walsh (34) was in court in Ireland last week when her father was sentenced to 52 years’ imprisonment for repeatedly raping and violently assaulting her sexually when she was a child.
Noel Walsh (55) of Dublin will serve an effective 131/2-year prison term – one of the heaviest penalties ever handed down in Ireland for a crime of this type. Judge Paul Carney, presiding in the Central Criminal Court, remarked that it was one of a handful of the worst cases to have come before Ireland’s highest court. Cases involving rape and incest are normally held in camera to protect the identity of the survivor. However, Judy Walsh – who moved to Cape Town in 1992 – applied for the ruling to be lifted in her case.
”So many children are being sexually abused every breath of every day,” she said, ”yet so few feel empowered enough to take action against their abuser.”
She said that by covering up these issues with shame and secrecy, society makes it easier for the perpetrators to get away with their crimes. By being open and unafraid of being identified, she said she wanted to help others trapped in similar situations.
Describing the effect her father’s physical and emotional abuse has had on her life, she spoke about an overwhelming sense of shame and guilt. ”As the rapes and beatings became more frequent and violent, I was made to feel blame, that it was my fault, that I deserved it – and worse still, I believed it.”
She said her father had violated all her boundaries, trying hard to kill her soul by making her feel inhuman. ”As I look back now in my stronger moments, I really battle to relate to the torment and terror I lived under; therefore I do not think you can possibly begin to imagine what it was like.”
Yet she stayed with her father into her early twenties. ”I became a psychological prisoner … I stayed out of loyalty and devotion as well as fear. He had no one else; deserting him was just not an option for me.” She said she still struggled with feelings of guilt and self-blame for having remained.
”But I know I am not alone,” she said. ”Every single victim of child abuse and incest feels these emotions. It is a known and typical pattern and, in fact, a very powerful weapon that perpetrators use to ensure they get away with these crimes and is one of the reasons why these crimes are so prevalent to this day. ”So on behalf of all children who have and still continue to suffer this abuse I have been compelled to overcome these emotions and bring this case to court.” The healing process had been traumatic. ”I struggled to survive, feeling so cut off, so different from everyone around me. I took a number of overdoses to try to manage the unbearable pain of emotional torment and isolation. Not so much that I wanted to die but more to escape reality. I now know this feeling of isolation is very common among survivors. ”I hope that my experiences will help survivors, and the people around them, to cope with the pain – to show them they are not alone in their emotions.” Walsh, who had been charged on 49 counts, pleaded guilty to a representative sample of five – three counts of rape and two of sexual assault – and was sentenced to 15 years on each rape charge and seven years on the others. The sentences will run concurrently and the last 15 months were suspended because he pleaded guilty, saving the state a full trial. Asked about her reaction to the sentences, Judy Walsh said she was in a state of shock.
”I have such mixed feelings. Having survived 20 years of sexual violence at his hands, one might expect the lasting after- effect to be hatred, anger or a desire for revenge. I feel none of this. Yet despite not hating him I know that it would be wrong to allow him to get away unpunished for what he did.” She reported him to the Irish police four- and-a-half years ago. ”Sexual abuse is so common, yet so few cases are ever reported, and of those that are, only a tiny percentage ever result in a conviction – and even then some of the sentences are laughable. So despite having no desire to inflict pain on any living creature, I felt an obligation to do what I could to send a message to other perpetrators that these crimes carry a heavy penalty, not a slap on the wrist.” She said it would be a mistake to think she could ”put it all behind her” as many people have urged her to do. ”That’s impossible,” she said. ”But I’m coming to terms with my past and learning to live with the wounds and for the first time to love life. I have stopped sabotaging myself and I’m very, very happy.”