Neal Collins soccer
In London, where snow is falling to mark the start of spring, English soccer fans are forced to migrate even further north, into the barren tundra region of Merseyside to keep track of their Holy Grail: the World Cup.
Last seen a millennium ago (AD 1966 to be precise), they have been after it, Monty Python style, ever since; in clanking armour, with both legs chopped off, and no hands. And still they threaten to bite the opposition into submission.
This time, it will be different. This time, they have a foreign manager. This time, Sven Goran Eriksson, the Super Swede, will lead them all the way to Japan and Korea and beyond (Alaska? Indonesia?) next summer. He will lead them to glorious victory over Finland at Anfield on Saturday afternoon. Oh yes.
Sven learned his football from Englishmen like Roy Hodgson and Bobby Houghton. He made crusades to Liverpool and Ipswich in the 70s when England’s drinking, gambling, permed footballers were godlike in their international exposure. Europe was their hunting ground; the World Cup had been lifted a mere decade ago.
Now, the wheel has turned full circle; Eriksson is God; Englishmen Terry Venables, Glenn Hoddle and Kevin Keegan have fallen by the wayside, gone the way of all fallen Anglos who pretend to know about modern football.
The Premiership is dominated by Frenchmen (Arsene Wenger at Arsenal and Gerard Houllier at Liverpool); Scots (George Burley at Ipswich and Sir somebody at Manchester United), the Italian Claudio Ranieri at Chelsea and Ireland’s pride, David O’Leary at Leeds. English managers (Joe Royle, Harry Redknapp, John Gregory) can do little more than flirt with relegation.
So now, with a foreigner finally at the helm, they can expect the kind of success inspired by Zimbabwean England cricket coach Duncan Fletcher on the subcontinent this winter.
Okay, they start from a difficult position. Defeat in the opener against Germany led to Kevin Keegan’s departure. That was followed by a draw against Finland under the unloved Howard Wilkinson. Both English of course, so how could they be expected to win?
Finland, 57th in the current Fifa rankings, must now travel to Anfield, with Wembley boarded up but as yet undemolished, so shambolic has the English game become.
And on Saturday England await the Swedish Coming; all things Scandinavian shall be worshipped, even if the off-form David Beckham can lead them to only a scruffy 1-0 win.
Anything less, and the exit door awaits. My verdict? A 2-0 win followed by a rousing three- or four-goal win over minnows Albania in troubled Tirana on Wednesday. That will put England, ranked 16th, just ahead of South Africa in 20th, back in contention for the group but they’ll be lucky to get a play-off place.
Germany will beat Albania on Saturday and it’ll be England vs Greece for the runners-up spot in Group Nine.
But England’s is not the only important World Cup qualifier this weekend. In Europe, nine group winners go through automatically. Eight of the runners-up will play off against each other for four further slots. One runner-up will play Asia’s third-best nation to go through.
Russia and Yugoslavia seem set to end top of Group One, while Holland and Portugal will contest Group Two. Northern Ireland will have to overcome the challenges of the Czech Republic, Bulgaria and Denmark to stand a chance inGroup Three.
We’ve come to expect great things of Turkish football, and their 1-1 draw with Sweden confirmed they are no longer a nation still playing in curly-toed slippers. They’re ranked 29th in the world and should hold off 21st ranked Sweden to win Group Four though Macedonia and Slovakia, who also held the Swedes, are no slouches either.
Expect Poland, Norway and the Ukraine to fight it out for the top two places in Group Five.
The Scots have a near-miraculous World Cup qualifying record and stand a reasonable chance in Group Six, while Spain and Italy should dominate Group Seven and Eight respectively.