The Ben Trovato Files is a book that refuses to be restrained within the boundaries of fiction and non-fiction. Instead, it ranges across a murky middle ground that, like the author, is not easily identified. These are Unabomber tactics, but here satire has replaced Semtex.
Trovato is a conventional maverick who writes in a genre as difficult to pin down as the author himself. He is a man not without means and access to powerful people. But more than that, he is a man of letters. Many of them.
Writing in his native language, English, he has succeeded in touching the hearts and minds of some very special people. Through a dogged belief that everyone secretly desires to be a part of the great debate, he has opened up channels of communication that otherwise would never have existed.
He advises presidents and prime ministers on how to go about turning disasters into Nobel prizes.
He single-handedly prevents the Zimbabwean government from annexing Nicky Oppenheimer’s farm.
He provides essential coaching to top sportsmen like Bob Skinstad.
The real pope counts on his support when it comes time to reclaim the Vatican.
The Texas-based Nostradamus Society sponsors his Lotto habit.
He offers financial support to tragic figures like Hansie Cronje, whose lawyer has already contacted Trovato in connection with the missing money.
The Japanese Embassy explains why the “cockroaches of the sea” have to be “researched”.
He warns the government of deviant Spanish pirates who plan to pillage a lot more than South Africa’s fish.
Trovato’s contribution to the arts should not go unnoticed and appreciation has already been expressed by such luminaries as Mzwakhe Mbuli and Des Lindberg. Well-known equestrian, Eugene Terre’Blanche, has similarly thanked Trovato for his insight on how best to survive in prison.
At times, Trovato was spectacularly unsuccessful in his efforts. He has been ignored by some of the world’s most intriguing figures. The Recovering Racists Network appears to have written him off as a crank. Queen Elizabeth II is still struggling to formulate an adequate response. Namibia’s President Sam Nujoma has been strangely silent on the transvestite lap dancers. The South African Communist Party’s Jeremy Cronin is lying low. And Allan Boesak appears to be waiting for more donations before picking up a pen.
Trovato also raises the fascinating question of whether the refusal of conjugal rights can, in fact, be construed as an atrocity. He demands action from the relevant authorities, but it ends badly when Human Rights commissioner Barney Pityana reports him to the Sea Point police.
The Ben Trovato Files reveals the author to be a man of incisive wit and occasional lapses of judgement. He has shown himself to be a gifted visionary with unlimited access to R10 notes and far too much time on his hands.
Trovato admits to living in Cape Town and is open about his marriage to Brenda. Their teenage son, Clive, is about to be released from the institute any day now. He will not be attending the American International School of Johannesburg, and his coming of age gift is likely to be a mail-order blonde from Novosibirsk.
Disclaimer: Be warned that The Ben Trovato Files contains limited violence and, thanks to Brenda, virtually no sex. This will come as a tremendous disappointment to some. We would like it known that our intention is to contest lawsuits by readers who may feel that they have somehow been misled.
The Ben Trovato Files is published by M&G Books and costs R94,95