/ 14 December 2001

The turbo, the tart and the maiden

Lemmer and the manne at the Dorsbult need to take a bit more dam with their dop.

Firstly, in the M&G comment entitled “Fact out” (December 7) they refer to the “disastrous turbo charge campaign of the 1980s”. There are only three survivors of this campaign. Myself, Eglin (who has forgotten it), and a happenstance wordsmith, known to the inner ring only as Bally Shite, who now stands exposed. I am not prepared to compromise him further by furnishing his proper name. Secondly, you report me as describing myself as a “whore”. Incorrect. “Tart” was the word I used. “Whore” is M&G speak and possibly philosophy not mine. Thirdly, you sneeringly refer to an unmade maiden. Wrong again. I made a very pretty little maiden and two other speeches to boot.

In fact, I had a productive and enjoyable couple of months in Province. Unfortunately, the place lacks a pub, so we never saw your lot there. Robin Carlisle

Doesn’t Oom Krisjan ever get tired of talking through swill like Klipdrift and Coke? Perhaps if he quaffed some excellent Stellenbosch dry white or had a taste of Scotland’s finest his discourse would improve and we wouldn’t be subjected to the old fart’s dronkverdriet week in and week out. Lionel Scholz, Kraaifontein