Not that long ago, the Congress of South African Trade Unions (Cosatu) was the mass movement arm of the tripartite alliance, striking fear into the hearts of capitalist pigs with its threats of, well, striking. These days, it seems, the only thing Cosatu strikes is mirth in the minds of the media.
Even Oom Krisjan had to raise a wry smile at the plaintive whinge that emanated from that organisation this week as it registered ”a strong protest at the poor level and quality of media coverage of the 2002 May Day celebrations”.
The union federation went on to list, by word-count, the amount of space allocated to coverage of events organised on May 1 (which, Lemmer believes, Cosatu itself insists is officially called Workers’ Day).
What it failed to mention, however, was that the number of words in each story probably exceeded the number of people Cosatu managed to attract to those meetings.
Space race
The dismal performances by the Bulls (and the Cats and the Sharks and … ag, enough already) in this year’s Super 12 have caused no end of grief here in the Dorsbult Bar. The manne can’t wait for the Curriebeker to start so we can watch a South African team win again. The pakslae Polly’s boys got in the cricket also did not go down too well.
So Lemmer is very pleased to note that Mark Shuttleworth’s little jaunt made the score: South Africa 1 Australia 0.
But when the bloke who decided a tin can was worth more than a shuttle touched down on Sunday Oom Krisjan was rather disappointed to see that the e-mail suggestion that flew around South Africa last week had obviously not reached the Kazakh steppes: not one member of the welcoming party was wearing a Planet of the Apes-style suit to meet onse Afronaut.
Reserve banked
A rather unpleasant visit to his bank manager reminded Oom Krisjan that he hasn’t heard, for some time, about the millions owed by the New National Party to Absa. Now that the Nats are nicely tucked up with the African National Congress, has the latter offered to stand surety? Or has the bank decided it’s worth turning a blind eye to the outstanding amount if you then have the government’s junior partner by the kort and curlies?
Alliance or dalliance?
The toenadering between the Inkatha Freedom Party and the Democratic Alliance is being taken to heart by some of the parties’ most influential figures. Mangosuthu Buthelezi’s adviser Mario Ambrosini and the DA’s Raenette Taljaard have been leading the way in proving you don’t have to bury the hatchet in each other’s heads. The pair have been seen enjoying each other’s company quite a lot recently, and Oom Krisjan hears that it’s not just party politics that is under discussion.
Leave her be
Despite all the recent party political wife-swapping, the DA remains in opposition – and it still cannot resist offering its tickey’s worth on all matters. The party’s spoketron (as in waitron) on arts, culture, life, the universe and everything, Sidney Opperman, is clearly upset that the Eastern Cape has claimed the remains of Saartjie Baartman, the woman taken to France and exhibited as part of a freakshow.
He even sent Oom Krisjan (and everyone else in the media) a statement lambasting the Eastern Cape for attempting to make political mileage (and a few tourist rands) out of Saartjie’s return.
”It is common practise [sic] to bury the remains of coloured people as close as possible to their place of birth,” he assures us. ”Anyone who believes otherwise is completely insensitive and out of order.
”The Eastern Cape will only perpetuate the idea that Saartjie was a ‘freak’,” he continues, ”if they try to have her returned to that province merely for ‘tourism’ purposes. Interest in her grave must be a bonus, and not the chief reason why she must be taken home.”
If Oom Krisjan correctly follows the line of indignation, Opperman believes that Saartjie should be buried on her traditional lands – but as the Khoi and San people have been badly done by in terms of land rights that is not possible.
Lemmer is not sure how sensitive and in order it would be to delay her proper burial until the property rights of her descendants are sorted out.
Graffito errata
Ever since The Star promised to ”tell it like it is”, Lemmer has been worried that the Johannesburg newspaper is part of the dumbing down of the South African public. Confirmation is in huge print on the corner of Jan Smuts Avenue and Empire Road – where The Star’s ”Graffitti Wall” challenges the illiterate to match its signwriters.
Man for all seasons
You can’t keep a good man down in the bizarre politics of the visdorpie. Remember Cape Town uni-city legal adviser Ben Kieser? He who in the heat of last year’s vote-rigging scandal over the renaming of two Cape Town streets was reported as having said: ”Fuck the public!”
Well, he has a new job – that of special adviser to Premier Peter Marais, the former Cape Town mayor who proposed the street renaming. The two-year contract as consultant was announced amid much talk of being the right man for the job, which incidentally includes attending the monthly meetings between premiers and President Thabo Mbeki, and conflict resolution.
However, the appointment does not mean an end to Kieser’s advisory post to current Cape Town mayor Gerald Morkel, the former premier. Oom Krisjan wonders how Kieser will keep track of what advice he’s given to whom.
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