Khadija Magardie and Bongani Majola
Monitors of the fiscus will be pleased to note that the aim of the “Moral Regeneration Movement” is “to revitalise existing organisations, and not start new ones”.
As delegates met in Pretoria this week to discuss why we’ve become a nation of rapists, murderers and cellphone thieves the collective sigh of relief was nearly audible from the government chairs. “They can affix ‘!Ike E- Ixarra! Ike’ to their letterheads but let them use their own rands.”
The idea of a summit on reviving morals was toyed with as early as 1998, when the president and deputy president called religious and political leaders aside to discuss the “anti-social” behaviour of some South Africans.
The MRM, as it will be known, has been convened under the auspices of Mr Second-in-Charge, his nibs, JZ. It was launched with pomp, fanfare and metres of red carpet at Waterkloof Airforce Base.
“Dignitaries”, including men of the cloth (and skins) and placid-eyed “ayahs” in saris listened intently as Zuma explained how he planned to “restore the moral fibre of our nation”.
In the VIP section was Western Cape Premier Peter “the filthy gays started it all” Marais who lashed out at “the liberal press” for ridiculing him because he stood for moral values. Describing himself as “a Christian Democrat, not a liberal”, Marais said he stood for the freedom of the individual, “but within the realm of strong moral values”.
Chief Rabbi Cyril Harris said he was “hopeful” the summit would not degenerate into another talkshop, adding that he felt it was important to “inculcate in the younger generation a sense of decency, and respect for person and property”. The younger generation appeared in short supply, save for Baha’I youth club members, and miniskirted diva-ettes, seated strategically in the back rows, near the sandwich trays.
But amid the pieties of not coveting your neighbour’s wealth, and of pressuring the media to tone down on the Emmanuelles and give more of the Brady Bunch, the South African Communist Party’s Blade Nzimande got to the bottom line quickest: “It’s one thing to talk of morals, but it’s also a material question.”/