So living under the ANC and all this democracy for killers and rapists has finally pushed you over the edge and towards the Dark Side. Cool! Now you need a guide towards becoming a horrifyingly evil person, like the guys in charge of local TV programming. Follow the path down at So You’ve Decided to be Evil.
But its not over yet – check your levels of nastiness at How Evil Are You?
All those questions have probably made you hungry, so here’s a one-stop resource that’ll keep your printer working overtime – a huge supply of recipes for just about any kind of food you can think of: Internet Recipes.
Then just to take your appetite away, what do you get if you’re an over-fed, over-paid cat owner? Well, you could always start with something small and tasteful like a fur-lined denim sleeping pouch for the pussy-cat of your dreams. Take a look at how far some people go in their pet-focus at Kitty Planet.
Good grief! Something for kids (and adults) – take a look at what can be done with the usually irritating Flash plugin at Grimm Fairy Tales For Kids.
If I mention a gigantic reptile forty feet long, and weighing over 17 000 pounds – what comes to mind? Oprah? Felicia? Des and Dawn’s egos? Nope, its the mother of all crocodiles. Take a look at Super Croc.
Here’s something that’s both funny, and very very useful if – like me – the last thing in the world you want to do is have a home like the average South African. (Pastel shades, ducks going up the walls, African heads staring, awful watercolours – you know, the usual frightening lapses in taste that pass for culture here.)
Follow the home-furnishing tips at Home Decor For The Morbidly Inclined.
Gear change. Something for the literati to drool over – an online exhibit of a wide variety of Victorian books, from the standard ‘books with photographic plates’ through to the lurid drawings from the ‘penny dreadfuls’ – which were the cool sleazy fun magazines that society then frowned upon. Settle in the charabanc en route to Aspects of the Victorian Book.
I wish we had some Texas laws active locally. They’re clever enough to realise that the taxpayer shouldn’t have to pay to house and feed murderers for decades, executing scumbags does society at large a favour. That said, take a browse through this the Texas Death Row Homepage.
Microsoft have a self-proclaimed new and uncrackable digital rights management system (DRM) which, according to them, is going to safeguard music amd multimedia online. Unfortunately though, its already been hacked and cracked wide open. Sorry Bill. Geeks go giggling to Beale and Register.
More geek stuff. LAN parties are beginning to spread, as folks realize the fun to be had from joining up computers and doing lots of happy multiplayer killing. Try How To Host A Lan Party.
Last geeky thing. NASA have released some of their own software for general use. Go take a look at NASA Software.
Slightly adult section, so be warned! If you’re a religious conservative or foul language offends, steer clear – but the following sites are too classic NOT to present here.
First off, and quite mild – someone oddly decided that making Lego versions of well-known Bible stories would serve some kind of positive function. Take a look at the surreal weirdness of Lego Bible Stories!
Then, and now we’re in strange territory. If you thought dildos were only the cheap and nasty things available in sex shops here, take a look at a selection of real carefully made ‘religious dildos’. (There’s a phrase you don’t read often, right?) Take a cautious muscle-clenching look at Divine Interventions.
And finally, consider this for a great and rewarding concept: You send someone your photo, and they happily put it up on their homepage and write something utterly rude, and usually obscene, about it. Sound good? Browse through the foul coolness of the pix and comments at Cliff Yablonski Hates You!!
Until the next time, if Christians, Oprah-fans and interior designers don’t get me.
Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an Internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the Internet began to make much more sense than theatre.