Having seen far too many of his friends die of Aids, Oom Krisjan is a fervent supporter of efforts to persuade the government to ease access to anti-retrovirals. With no blasphemy intended, here is a modification of the Lord’s Prayer, adapted to our current crisis:
Our President who is in Parliament
Elected was your government
Its Constitution rules
Development will be done in the rural areas
As it is done in the urban areas
Give us each day our anti-
retrovirals
And forgive us for wanting to live
As we survived the Boers
Who discriminated against us
And lead us not into complacency
But deliver us from opportunistic illnesses
For you have the power
To implement a treatment plan
To achieve the African renaissance
Forever and ever
Amandla!
Hidden agenda
But one of Oom Krisjan’s network of spies informs him that the posters in Adderley Street, Visdorpie, advertising the Treatment Action Campaign march to Parliament on Friday, have peeled off to reveal a Democratic Alliance poster for the basic income grant underneath. Is this this where the ultra-left link up with the right wing? Is there anything thing else hidden we don’t know?
Microwave blow-out
The manne at the Dorsbult were quite amused to see Samsung’s advert again on Monday — the one that assures you that your microwave is filled with all the same goodies that are on a space shuttle. We’re a little disappointed, though, that it appears heads are going to roll as — for reasons of delicacy considering what happened to Columbia — those ads are supposed to have been suspended until next month.
Stir crazy
A snippet from The New York Times reads: ”A federal appeals court ruled that officials in Arkansas can force a prisoner on death row to take antipsychotic medication to make him sane enough to execute.”
One hand clapping
The injury to Jonty Rhodes’s hand is bad enough news for South African cricket. But Lemmer can only hope it’s not his religious clapping hand.
Kiss the frog
Comrade Mad Bad Bob walks into a bar with a frog on his head. Barman says: ”What’s that?”
Frog says: ”I don’t know. It started as a wart on my ass.”
The late, late news
Over the past weeks Oom Krisjan has been tickled by some offerings from Bua News (The Right to Know) — the good news sent out by government spin doctor the Government Communication and Information System.
Aimed at alerting those jaded, cynical hacks to the government’s achievements, on Monday it featured this goodie: ”Cricket Tourney A Demonstration of World Peace: Mbeki” — two days after the event, as Bua News apparently keeps Monday to Friday office hours, unlike most of the media.
This was almost as good as a piece sent in a few weeks ago, when an Eastern Cape MEC handed over an automatic wheelchair to a man who ”has since used a manual wheelchair”. That report stated the man had applied for several years to receive such an automatic wheelchair, but gave up because of lack of finances. Now what does that say about the state of the province?
Readers wishing to alert Oom Krisjan to matters of national or lesser importance can do so at [email protected]