Here we are in Heritage Week, and the best the Kaalvoet Vroue Beweging of the latter-day Boer republic of Orania could give us is a koek sculpture. We live in a time when any Dick, Tom or Sipho who’s done something of relative significance could have a statue built, or a road named after him.
Yet now we have the bitter sweetness of a koeksister monument that seems to tell us that, at least for some people, there are no more heroes. No more swashbuckling generals on horseback. At least, not since the last great leader fell off his horse and subsequently became a guest of the state.
Soon, the monument will probably be little more than a public toilet for the een-oog-loerie, the white-spot-crow, the double-breasted safari, the right-winged pterodactyl, or whatever bird life it is that graces Orania.
Or perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps the koeksister monument will become to Orania what the Statue of Liberty is to the United States. A symbol of hope and freedom. At least, as the poet Emma Lazarus saw it: “Give me your tired (of the New South Africa), your poor (victims of affirmative action), your huddled masses yearning to breathe free (those non-smokers at Blou Bulle rugby match), the wretched refuse of your teeming shore (those white people too scared to swim at Durban’s beaches at Christmas time), Send these, the homeless (who have had to return their farms to the original owners), tempest-tost (Springbok rugby supporters) to me, I lift my lamp (or cup of moer koffie) besides the golden door (or is it syrup?).”
Or maybe the monument is a premonition. A visionary pointer to a battle yet to be fought — the Battle of the Koeksister. According to the Cape Times, makers of the Bo Kaap are claiming sole ownership of the koeksister tradition they believe has now been appropriated by the people of Orania: “Farieda Zaindeen said the genuine koeksister was baked according to a recipe passed on by families of Malaysian and Indonesian descent in the Cape”. So there we have it. The koeksister is going the same way as Afrikaans itself.
According to Zaindeen, the version now immortalised in Orania is mistakenly called the koeksister, when in fact, it is the “twister” because of the intertwining of two pieces that get soaked in syrup. For the people of the Bo Kaap, there is real concern about the theft of their culinary culture.
Growing up on the Cape Flats, one looked forward to a plate of genuine koeksisters from one’s neighbours when they celebrated Eid. The koeksisters that are dumpling-shaped, soft, slightly sweet and dipped in coconut.
Surely there’s enough uncontested food heritage for the kaalvoet women to celebrate? Would it not be less of a problem if they created a monument to Ouma Rusks, for example?
But maybe the Orania women are on to something. With the elections coming up next year and the prospect of many “let-them-eat-cake” promises, perhaps it would be appropriate for political parties to adopt a confectionary symbol.
In fact, the “twister” would be a good symbol for the African National Congress-New National Party alliance in the Western Cape, the ultimate koeksister alliance, bringing together two different traditions in one syrup. The Independent Democrats could have a Swiss roll — we can see what’s on top, but not what’s inside.
Or what about brownies for Pieter Marais’s new kleurling party? Or lemon tart for the Inkatha Freedom Party, with its multiple partners. And anything with puff (and huff) pastry for the Democratic Alliance. Of course, no party would be allowed to claim tipsy tart as their own, as this would be a multiparty favourite.