Reality is sucking a little too much these days, so I figured for a change, a column filled with stupid stuff and serious stuff might relieve the boredom. Let’s dive straight into the deeply serious stuff with a little game known as Rock, Paper — Saddam!.
Apropos of absolutely nothing relevant, this next item caught my eye, mainly because it seemed almost like the plotline for someone’s future novel. Look at Arctic Yields Evidence for Elizabethan Gold Swindle.
Feel like reading some classified documents? Recall the case of the FBI translator who stated that there was clear evidence of pre-9/11 attack warnings? Go read three letters that the FBI has classified “retroactively” to keep the 9/11 story in place. See FBI 9/11 Translator Letters.
I see the death rate for United States troops in Iraq is rising rapidly, 24 dead in the last week alone. (Add up the casualty figures from the following. So much for “winning the war”.)
Three Marines Die; Four Marines Killed; Vehicle Accident Kills One and Two Ohio National Guards Killed; 5 Soldiers Killed, 20 Wounded; US Soldier Dies after Insurgent Attack; Soldier Dies from Heart Attack; Soldier Killed, Not Listed on DoD Website; Guardsman Killed; One Soldier Killed, One Wounded; and Four US Troops Killed.
That’s just one week — and it’s only going to get worse. It seems clear that this so-called “war on terror” is following the Vietnam pattern, right down to the “Vietnamisation of the war” aspect — think of the PR news blips this week showing women joining the occupation forces.
Then think back to LBJ and Nixon and the “Vietnamisation” process, which suckered South Vietnamese into fighting the North, allowing the US to reduce its casualty figures. Read Wielding Guns and Handcuffs, Women Join Iraq Police.
Added to this, the cornered, discredited US president is making noises about “cancelling” the US election if there were a “terror” attack. The White House is blatantly sending clear signals to the US intelligence-agency-created “al-Qaeda” fake entity to do something to help Bush in these last months. Read Bush Plans to Cancel Election if Terror Attack Happens.
When Michael Moore’s new film, Fahrenheit 9/11, opens (for those of you who haven’t already downloaded it), you’ll see the great sequence involving US army recruiters working outside shopping malls to hook new recruits. But to get an idea of how the recruiters are lying to get unsuspecting new sign-ups, read Iraq Safer than Miami Say Marine Recruiters.
For a view of current events in Iraq from what is possibly the real vantage point, consider The Hand of Israel in Iraq. And as a companion piece, look at Arafat Blames Israel for Tel Aviv Bomb.
Ever wonder why we’re here? (I mean, apart from the obvious answer that this country is where our parents stupidly decided to fornicate.) Not many people ask themselves that simple question of why are we here, and to what purpose. Naturally the money-making demons known as evangelical religion would like you to think that they have the answers. And that one little cash deposit every Sunday absolves you of any deeper thought, but this really is no answer. Go do some browsing and listening at Philosophy Talk.
There’s nothing quite as fun as old churches. Whether or not you believe that a central deity or perhaps even Wonko the Drunk Original Elf made the universe or not, old churches tend to have a certain something about them. So what’s better than some pix of an old church? Yup, you guessed right — an old church decorated with human bones. Go stare at the Goth pleasures of a Czech church at Sedlec.
There again, if you’re maladjusted enough to think that “your” deity could ever be harmed by someone else poking fun at it, then avoid Burping Jesus.
Here’s a fun interesting article to read and then fax to the Union Buildings for comment. Take a look at Africa Dying: Decolonisation and White Ethnic Cleansing.
Do you belong to an online forum or use Mirc on a regular basis? Then you’d have run across the local brand of life known as a “troll” — these are users who delight in picking fights, saying stupid stuff to get you angry and generally doing whatever possible to make you respond and give them the attention they need. Trolls and bullies come in a variety of flavours. Go learn something and take the quiz at Cyber Bully.
Notice how all magazines seem to be nothing more than effective delivery systems for adverts? Endless articles that will fix your life and solve your problems, interspersed with glossy pix of celebrities whose lives are apparently of interest. Personally speaking, I prefer my magazines sleazy, drunken and disorderly. At least that way round I’m assured of the fact that no bimbo corporate prostitutes are trying to manipulate my world view or sell me anything. As an example of blatant and happy disorderly conduct, watch out for rude words and look through the “do’s and don’t’s” section of Vice Land.
The medium becomes the message at this next site. Lots of pictures and it doesn’t matter what is captured — as long as it is shiny, chaotic, interesting and done with a Polaroid.
Remember the good old days when punches were thrown in the school playground over the ownership of rather tacky-looking Plascon paint stickers? Well, stickers used to be a very rare thing. Not any more. Have a look at this next site from a guy who specialises in covering London with stickers saying “Trapped in a Sticker Factory. Send Help”. Go be the first South African to order a sheet of stickers with which to nuke local ATMs and signs: Trapped in a Sticker Factory, Send Help.
I focused on the sex-related fun to be had from the rather icky things known as “real dolls” a while back, but stumbled across this rather strange site that seems to have a penchant for pix of the real dolls when they’re being repaired. It takes all sorts to make a world, I guess. Warning: contains graphic pictures of naked dolls, don’t get them confused with humans at Real Doctor.
There’s a cool site dealing with misheard lyrics. What are those? Well, ever heard songs on the radio and heard what you thought were the lyrics? (The classic misheard lyric was always Jimi Hendrix in Purple Haze saying what sounded like “Excuse me while I kiss this guy”.) Have a browse through what people thought they heard, at Kiss This Guy.
You probably didn’t know that there was an annual Superman festival held each year. I guess if the name of your town is Metropolis (in Illinois) then it’s only going to be a matter of time before the comic geeks get a bright idea, right? Go stare at comic geeks without any shame at The Annual Superman Festival.
Alternatively, if you have a sound card and want to see something completely different, how does the idea of watching Pavarotti serenade some elephants sound to you? No, I’m not making this up. Go enjoy Pavarotti Loves Elephants.
And while you’re looking at mondo bizarro stuff, you could always kill some time by watching the equally silly Russian Dolls Go On Holiday. Or, to step even further into Pythonesque surrealism, how about the joys of a fake nature film about a Giant Duck?
For a great example of a stupid cat stuck in a loop from having too small a brain to cope with reality, have a look at this short film that demonstrates the problems of not enough brain power. (Cat falls out of tree. Cat gets scared. Cat runs up tree again. Put it on infinite play, for the real benefit, at Cat Flick.
Finding decent butt-plugs is always a problem, isn’t it? Take a listen to what happens when a cheerfully insistent potential butt-plug buyer calls a regular hardware store in search of the aforementioned gadgets.
Gear change. Mass murder is always fun, isn’t it? Well, at least according to Hollywood it is. I mean, think about it — what kind of sane society and species would elevate a serial-killing cannibal to hero status? Geez, no wonder aliens haven’t landed yet. But back to the ever-popular serial-killer theme. To learn a little bit about a cult killer from the late Sixties who taunted police and pushed the envelope of performance-art-as-murder, spend some time at This Is the Zodiac Speaking.
Stupid geek stuff. Have a look at Windows XP Version 19,914.
Then, just to show how far the internet can actually help you dig beneath the surface, two examples. If you happen to be a start-up terrorist group and are planning to do something naughty on a big scale at an airport, you probably will need something like the Searchable Database of Airport Diagrams.
Or if you know someone who’s a Czech immigrant and you want to make sure he or she wasn’t at any point in the pay of the Soviets, search for his or her name in The Searchable Database of Communist Czech Spies and The Database of Czech Agents. Czech-mate, I think…
Until the next time, if fans of Pavarotti don’t get me.