After the successes of the women’s movement in the 1960s and 1970s an inevitable backlash followed and still continues: feminists are man-haters, anti family values and tyrannical arbiters imposing their values on other women. And for those who think the backlash is a mere figment of the feminist imagination, the Vatican, in the form of the pope (Himself), has issued a fresh warning on the perils posed by the feminist threat.
According to the Holy Father, women are to be defined by their capacity to persevere in adversity and make sacrifices for others. So, pretty much what we’ve been doing for the last couple of millennia, then? Nothing quite like dressing up oppression to make it feel like a virtue, is there?
It is particularly disturbing that the new generation of young women has bought into the myth of the angry feminist, seeing feminism as something to fear and scorn. I’ve lost count of how many times a young woman has earnestly told me ”I’m not one of those feminists but … ” and then gone on to assert her rights to the equality and dignity that the women’s movement won for her and the generation of women before her.
Many women have forgotten (or perhaps never learned) about the struggles waged to ensure the right to equal pay for work of equal value, to full citizenship, reproductive autonomy and equality before the law.
Feminism is not about replacing one set of male values that dictated what women should wear if they wished to be seen as respectable, with another that says ”thou shalt not … ”
The women’s struggle has always been about women reclaiming their bodies and their right to do whatever they wish with them, including the right to adorn them in any way they see fit.
But one of the central lessons of the women’s movement that we must never lose sight of is the necessity to constantly evaluate and assess where our ideas of what is socially acceptable and desirable come from.
Do these concepts spring from a desire to make us stronger, self-fulfilled and secure as women? Or are they imposed by the advertising empires that need us to feel insecure and unhappy about ourselves so that they can sell us the endless stream of products? Products that they would have us believe are necessary to make us attractive and acceptable. There is always a new product that women must have, from pore minimisers to super shiny lip-gloss, from cellulite zappers to butt-lifting tights.
These messages are always dressed up in the language of empowerment: ”If you look good then you will feel good, and if you feel good you can go out there and be a success and get your share of the money/fame/fun.”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favour of good grooming (for both men and women) and I understand the importance of wearing clothes in which we feel good and are comfortable.
I see no contradiction between being a feminist and enjoying fashion, buying funky shoes or slapping on some mascara before I leave the house. I admit to a slight fetish especially for accessories, watches and rings. I have no problem with pampering myself, and indulge in regular pedicures, aromatherapy massages and habitually colour my hair in shades nature never intended.
But this is just part of and not all of who I am. There are days when I happily leave the house dressed like a bag lady, without a scrap of cosmetics on my face. I have no pre-packaged image that I feel I need to live up to, because I do not believe my physical appearance is of greater importance than my mind or my soul.
Like most other women who have to deal with the innumerable demands of career, family, children, friends and partners, I am time-poor and it is important to decide where to invest my time and energy.
Looking good is nice, but it is more important for me to nourish my brain and nurture my spirit. I choose to spend my ”me time” doing t’ai chi, reading and engaging with new ideas, taking long baths and chatting to my girlfriends on the phone. Perhaps I am simply imposing my level of comfort on others, but if the choice is to spend hours of precious time each day trying to make myself look a certain way, or to kick back and do something that benefits the ”whole me”, I know which option I will choose.
Don’t go burning my bra
Feminism was born out of the need to fight discrimination against women, writes Tatenda Singizi. I am very thankful to my fore-sisters who fought and toiled so that I could enjoy the luxury of doing anything I want without having to justify myself.
I am also very glad that whole bra-burning thing happened before my time because, given my cup size, the thought of letting these babies go untamed is enough to have me scuttling to Woollies in search of extra support.
Feminism defies easy categorisation — there are Amazon Feminists, Cultural Feminists, Liberal Feminists and Radical Feminists. But it seems once you decide what kind you are, this entitles you to sit in judgement of all other people, particularly the non-feminists.
One of the key areas in which feminists of all kinds feel free to judge other women is on the topic of wearing make-up and taking a keen interest in one’s appearance. By doing so, we are supposedly pandering to the male ideal of what a woman should look like and we are encouraged to throw off the shackles of repression by being free in our naked faces.
Does this mean that to be a feminist it is necessary to have hairy legs and armpits, go bra-less, no matter what size you are, and reveal your face to the world without a scrap of make-up? Frankly, I can’t imagine it.
That kind of look may have been cool when our ancestors were cave dwellers but there is no excuse for that kind of scuzziness in the modern age when we are inundated with self-care products. Who can resist flavoured lip-gloss, scented shampoo, and those lovely razors that come in pink to match your bedroom slippers?
The big question then is: Can we believe in feminism and still look our dazzling best?
The answer is very simple — in a free world, I can choose my beliefs and the colour of my eye-shadow. Should you choose to judge me, I encourage you to visit a psychotherapist to help you deal with your issues.