It was most inspiring last week to see President Thabo Mbeki dishing out awards and encomia to South Africans who have contributed to this country’s cultural, social and political tapestry. Never mind the 100 greatest South Africans, these were the real thing.
As I watched the awards — and despite my wracking sobs of patriotic gratitude — a thought came to me. Surely the scope of these presidential awards might be widened so that other areas of human endeavour receive a fair share of recognition. South Africans are terribly good at sport and popular music, at poetry and painting, at medicine and many other professions; but where is the recognition of notable achievements in avocations that don’t qualify for a medal and a fleeting touch of the presidential hand?
If there’s one discipline in which South Africans excel it is corruption of one sort or another. Scarcely a day goes by that we don’t read about yet another scam, another swindle, another fraud, another blatant theft of public money by those entrusted with its safekeeping. Surely it’s time our endogenous gifts as a nation are recognised and encouraged.
In awarding his national orders last week, Mbeki stressed that he was honouring those who had fought for freedom and devotion to South Africa “in the full knowledge of potential harm to themselves”. Surely this qualification applies to the array of fraudsters, embezzlers, con-artists and swindlers who infest the bureaucratic wilderness of our civil service: all the way from the traffic cop taking bribes to the provincial premier shovelling public millions into his wife’s bank account.
While these people might not be behaving in the best democratic interests of the country and freedom, they certainly do what they do in full knowledge of potential harm to themselves. When, eventually, the justice system claws its way through the delays, alibis, misinformation and plain old lies, the penalties can be telling. Some of our most exalted swindlers have been severely chastised. About seven years ago some topline provincial embezzlers got quite close to being suspended from their jobs. Not that such harsh punishment is common. The graver the financial infraction, the quicker forgiven by the political masters.
Remember that fine chap, Tony Yengeni, who signed up for a dodgy-discount Merc 4×4? What Yengeni was actually doing has so far gone unrecognised: in a spirit of rampant patriotism, he was trying to put South Africa up with the world’s leading corrupt nations. In a recent United Nations survey our intrepid rainbow drooped to a shameful 14th in the world, with countries like Nigeria and Bangladesh way out ahead of us. I think Comrade Yengeni deserves, at the very least, a bronze medal.
Last week’s Mail & Guardian told the story of some rather curious goings-on in East London, involving the Eastern Cape agriculture minister, Max Mamase, his wife, social development minister, Neo Mamase, and citrus king Norman Benjamin. It is being alleged that following Max’s awarding of a R16-million empowerment deal to Norman, Max and Neo suddenly acquired a R2,7-million luxury mansion in East London.
This is, of course, media nonsense; another smear from irresponsible quarters and probably racist as well. No doubt there’s some simple explanation that the reporter didn’t bother to uncover and, once investigated by impartial authorities, this trio will emerge from the affair smelling like roses. But what if they don’t? If the allegations are proved to be true, wouldn’t they then qualify for some sort of presidential award? What about a silver Companion of Allan Boesak — though normally this prestigious gong goes to those who have managed to rip off church funds while stealing from starving children and praising God all at the same time.
And what about Gary van der Merwe, a Cape Town businessman currently out on bail of R60 000? Van der Merwe’s been charged with tax and investor fraud; charges that tend to put those being levelled against Schabir Shaik in the deepest shade.
Should Van der Merwe ever be proved guilty, he will receive some sort of judicial penalty, could well be sent off to the cooler to repent. Once there the details of his infractions should automatically be added to the candidates list for presidential awards. When prison terms have been served and leading business-heroes such as Van der Merwe are out and about again, should they not be hailed by the public and the media for the sheer depth of their imagination and skill. They’ve had the guts to stand up and be counted, to show the outside world that, when it comes to ripping off pensioners while riding around in private jets, South Africa’s looters can be counted among the pace-setters.
We need an annual National Fraud and Corruption Awards ceremony at which medals are handed out and a select few individuals given presidential pardon and reappointed to positions where once again they can dip their hands into the public purse. For light entertainment, Des and Dawn could sing Never Steal Anything Small and Money Makes the World Go Round.
Proudly South African is such a many-sided coin, it’s surprising it hasn’t been stolen yet.