Thrown to the Wolves

Like that tatty old pair of socks in the back of your cupboard you keep meaning to throw out, Glenn Hoddle just keeps coming back when everything else is in the wash.

I guess he’s not smelly and he still looks okay, but, like those socks, he’s darned full of holes as a manager — and he’s a comfortable choice to fill Dave Jones’s shoes at Wolves, where the fans have been howling unrealistically about promotion back to the Premiership.

For Spurs and England Hoddle was once considered among the world’s greatest midfielders (shows what they knew back then: he could hit the ball 50m on to a pinhead but he couldn’t tackle and sang silly pop songs with Chris Waddle. He’s only 47 but already he carries more footballing baggage than G8, the footballing, drinking, wife-beating artist formerly known as Paul Gascoigne, the man whose career he effectively ended.

The headlines, for a manager who professes to be a Christian and turns his players over to a faith healer called Eileen Drewery for treatment, will be ‘In Hodd we trust” and the like.

After a month-long search following the departure of Jones, Hodd isn’t getting much trust. Just a six-month contract and the hope that he can somehow propel the club back in to the first division play-off positions.

Chief executive Jez Moxey, who may or may not have approached Sir Bobby Robson and Harry Redknapp about the job, said: ‘I think this is a tremendous opportunity for Wolves and I’m highly delighted Glenn has chosen to come to us. It is a six-month contract — which was our idea, and he agreed — so we can test each other out and see if it works. But it’s just the beginning.”

Not if they don’t get promoted it isn’t. It’ll be the end, mark my words.

Hoddle will work with his old Southampton assistant Stuart Gray, who was in charge for the 2-1 loss to Millwall on Tuesday.

Since taking Swindon to undreamed of heights in the early 1990s, Hoddle has tried Chelsea, England, Southampton and Spurs — with one FA Cup final his best return.

Hoddle left the England job because he claimed disabled people were paying for the sins of their previous lives.

And he can’t help saying ‘them” when he means ‘those”, as in: ‘Them Wolves players are just not good enough to get promoted this season.”

He hasn’t actually said that, of course, he’s too desperate to get back on the managerial merry-go-round.

He was turned down by France as a replacement for Santini, Hoddle insists: ‘I truly believe if [Wolves] get the momentum going we can reach our main objective, to be back in the Premiership.”

Clearly, he’s forgotten to look at the league table lately. Wolves are struggling miles behind leaders Wigan despite an upturn after the departure of Jones.

My verdict: They’ll reach the play-offs if Hoddle gets some money to spend — but they won’t quite achieve the miracle.