/ 8 April 2005

Zim’s text wars

Cellphones are fun gadgets, especially the SMS feature. This hitherto unregulated communication tool provided comic relief during the hurly burly of Zimbabwe’s election week. I’m still clearing my inbox of the flood of text messages that did the rounds.

The first hit days before the poll: ”MDC stands for Mugabe’s Departure is Certain.”

Zanu-PF supporters hit back: ”Terri Schiavo dies after days of starvation: who is politicising food?”

And an MDC comeback: ”Ziva Anokupa Nzara Uchifa Pfungwa” — loosely translated, ”You should know the culprit who gives people hunger and destroys their brains.”

This barrage of sarcasm intensified on election day. ”Weather report: Partly Zanu-PF whilst most of the country will be MDC. There shall be a heavy MDC storm followed by a tsunami disaster at the state house.”

Zanu-PF retorted: ”First we had to fight for independence. Then they created HIV to exterminate us. Then we seized land. Now they want to eliminate the people’s gatekeeper. I am voting Zanu-PF to prevent the creation of another Australia with us as Aborigines.”

After the results, the MDC lost their SMS appetite, leaving the ruling party to have the final word: ”Zanu PF is now and is the future.”