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Smoke and fire…

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Dominee ”Nogmaal, Nagmaal” Naudé was in a state this week when the manne showed him a website set up by Elan Suisse Capital, The site’s sole purpose seems to be the assassination of the character and credentials of Moneyweb journalist Julius Cobbett who, the Elan Suisse claims, has been assassinating its character. But the Dominee still can’t get over the section in which Elan Suisse ask Cobbett about his relationship with one Bob Christ, who is in litigation with the company. ”Are you receiving remuneration from CHRIST?” asks Elan Suisse. ”How many times each week do you communicate directly with CHRIST? Have you spent more time communicating with CHRIST telephonically and by e-mail than you have with us?” The Dominee says he has to get hold of that phone number and e-mail address …


Lemmer hears a lot about students, but when he sees them kicking open the doors of learning and lighting the fire of wisdom in tyres, they never seem to be studying anything. His suspicious weren’t allayed this week when the Azanian Students’ Organisation invited the press to the ”25th Azaso Anniversary Gallar Dinner”. One line later the event had transformed into a ”Galler Dinner”. I beleev the tjildren are hour fyutcha…

Smoke and fire…

Maybe Lemmer’s been watching too many crime dramas, but when rumours of a poisoning start doing the rounds in connection with the death of the young Queen Modjadji, and almost immediately her coffin mysteriously catches fire, Oom Krisjan smells a rat. Or petrol and Blitz firelighters. The official cause of the fire? No one is sure, but the ancestors seem to be a top contender. Those pesky ancestors and their flagrant disregard for forensics …

Story of an African farce

Lemmer knows Americans need their sugar sweetened with saccharine, but even he is amazed at Hollywood’s repackaging of the local fliek of Story of an African Farm. Aloes, kaalvoet japsnoeters and big skies just won’t cut it with Yank audiences, so it’s got the Disney treatment. Renamed Bustin’ Bonaparte, the tagline says it all. ”He thought taking on three kids would be easy. Boy was he wrong!” Grinning kiddies, cuddly ostrich, weird Limey tied up in ropes: thank heavens Tannie Olive Schreiner is dead and gone.

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