In an astonishingly candid move, the South African Police Service (SAPS) has admitted to spending R66,5-million a year on hiring private security firms to guard its stations, police buildings and properties. These include such vulnerable enterprises as the police dog training school, the forensic science laboratories, the divisional commissioners’ offices and about 190 police stations.
Fascinated by this, I went along to see the SAPS Officer in Charge of Police Protection (OCPP). It took only 15 minutes to be checked, body-searched, X-rayed and interviewed as I was passed through a ring of steel around the Tshwane central police offices, manned by some formidably armed and equipped private security operatives.
”We in SAPS feel we can’t properly protect the public until we ourselves are properly protected,” said the OCPP, as I was at last ushered into her presence. ”I hope you don’t mind the handcuffs, shackles and spit-shield.”
”Not at all,” I gasped pleasantly, as two of the larger security guards chained me into a seat. ”I’d prefer it if you felt absolutely safe.”
”I knew you would understand,” beamed the OCPP. With a flick of her rubber-bullet gun, she dismissed all but four of the security guards. ”Now, what would you like to ask me?”
”I know my thinking and prejudices are colonially embittered and deeply offensive,” I began, ”but I just cannot understand why a police force needs to hire outside protection for itself. Surely police officers, who are highly trained to protect others, should be capable of protecting themselves?”
”By making such an assumption you reveal your own pathetic ignorance,” smiled the OCPP. ”Today’s democratic police force is not at all involved with actual protection of anything or anybody at all. Why else would the national average time for the police to arrive at any crime scene be 47 minutes? They have to be sure there’s been enough time for the perpetrators to get well clear. There’s nothing in their contracts that says police officers must risk their lives or health by having close-at-hand dealings with gangsters and so on. That sort of thinking belongs in the apartheid days.”
”But only last week the SABC TV news had pictures of whole hosts of police officers standing resolutely in the way of thousands of enraged demonstrators in Khutsong,” I protested. ”They certainly looked to be in real danger.”
”Those weren’t actual police officers. They were private security officers dressed up to look like police officers. They had nothing to do with stopping that protest march. All they were doing was making sure none of the demonstrators broke into the Khutsong police station and illegally opened the bar.”
”But lots of people are saying the police need to change their ways,” I ventured.
”You could be taking your mouth out of my words,” grinned the OCPP. ”Today’s South African police force is far too sophisticated to indulge in full confrontational engagement with criminal elements. It is much too busy preventing crime, using the most up-to-date scientific methods possible. In an unavoidable case here and there, things get out of hand and some unsupervised detective not only actually solves a crime, but then goes rushing off to some or other prosecutor.”
”That must be very time-wasting and unproductive,” I offered.
”Left to its own devices, today’s police force doesn’t go tearing around after burglars, rapists, armed robbers, kidnappers, murderers and Nigerian drug dealers. They simply don’t have the time, never mind the petrol. Shooting people and doing all that other heroic stuff is strictly for Miami Vice.”
”I see that a gentleman from KwaZulu-Natal says that by employing outside firms to guard themselves, South African police are making themselves laughing stocks all over the world,” I said, rattling my handcuffs to drive the point home.
”That is absolute nonsense,” scowled the OCPP. ”The South African police are only laughing stocks within our own borders. Elsewhere in the world, no one laughs. They just shake their heads in amazement.”
She nodded to one of the larger security guards, who stepped across and cuffed me smartly behind my ear for being impertinent.
I was more cautious with my next question. ”I see that many of my colleagues in the media have admired your brilliant and imaginative approach to VIP protection services. The SAPS is now employing professional private bodyguards to protect the police bodyguards who are so busy protecting the VIPs they aren’t able to protect themselves.”
”That is because no expense should be spared when it comes to police work being done in the most efficient way possible. You can’t have highly trained VIP police bodyguards nervously looking over their shoulders because they’re scared shitless about their own safety.”
”One last question,” I said. ”What is the real reason for having private armed security guards protecting police stations?”
The OCPP sighed. ”Private armed security guards outside police stations are only there to stop undangerous, unarmed criminals entering the police station in order to steal our guns and ammunition. If this is allowed to happen, these intruders immediately become dangerous armed criminals. So the private security guards are only there as an aid to leading-edge crime containment. Can’t you media people understand anything Commissioner Jackie Selebi says?”