Forget that we still don’t know if May’s FA Cup final is going to be the first at the new Wembley or the last at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff. Forget, too, that holders Arsenal and my pre-tournament favourites, Tottenham, are both out.
The FA Cup remains the greatest knock-out competition of all, wherever the final is played, whoever survives the early hurdles. And this weekend, with Charlton facing Brentford and Manchester United at Liverpool, I suspect the point will be proved once again. And if Colchester win at Chelsea, I’ll walk naked down Kensington High Street. Avoiding that odious image and without further ado, here are the fifth-round ties:
Bolton vs West Ham
Unbelievably, the once-hopeless Hammers have won seven on the trot and are actually two points clear of Bolton, though the Wanderers have two games in hand. I suspect even Alan Pardew, whose head was on a platter when the Hammers were getting hammered in the first division last season, doesn’t really know how his side have found their way into the top six. Bolton, who beat holders Arsenal in the previous round, should win this without the benefit of a replay. But West Ham, with new signing Dean Ashton scoring in Monday’s 3-0 win over Birmingham, are playing out of their skins right now.
Verdict: Bolton 2 West Ham 1
Charlton vs Brentford
Inconsistent Charlton come up against second division promotion contenders Brentford (third after Tuesday’s useful 2-0 win over Southend), under the tutelage of Martin ”Mad Dog” Allen, the guy who runs around naked and throws himself in rivers before big games. Of course, the Bees shouldn’t stand an earthly. But somehow, Allen and his mad motivational methods might just curb Curbishley.
Verdict: Charlton 2 Brentford 3
Liverpool vs Man United
Tie of the round, I guess, with last year’s beaten finalists up against last year’s Champions League winners. Cristiano Ronaldo has scored four in two games for United, Ruud van Nistelrooy remains the Premiership’s top scorer and Wayne Rooney is unquestionably the best English player in the country. Alex Ferguson deserves to use his pensioner’s pass for one last bus trip to the FA Cup final. But can they defend?
Verdict: Liverpool 2 Man United 1
Newcastle vs Saints
Graeme Souness was no sooner ejected from the St James’ Park hot seat than the Geordies started putting a bit of a run together. Typical. Glenn Roeder, the caretaker boss, has proved in the past he’s capable of relegation with all kinds of different clubs. He certainly didn’t do much for West Ham. But hey, with Alan Shearer as your number two, who can go wrong? Don’t ask Southampton about going wrong. England’s rugby World Cup winner Sir Clive Woodward, technical director at St Mary’s, must be wondering what the game’s all about. So must former Hearts boss George Burley, now hoping to inspire an FA Cup run to lift suffering Saints supporters. Can’t see it, not at St James’.
Verdict: Newcastle 2 Saints 0
Villa vs Man City
David O’Leary’s Villa still aren’t safe in the Premiership, Stuart Pearce’s Manchester City probably are. But to be honest there’s nothing to choose between these two mid-table sides — other than, perhaps, Pearce’s mad antics on the sideline. Can’t help thinking he should have held on to Shaun Wright-Phillips — but for £23-million of Chelsea’s oil millions, who can blame him?
Verdict: Villa 2 Manchester City 1
Chelsea vs Colchester
Very few non-Chelsea fans went into mourning after last week’s 3-0 loss to Middlesbrough. But, let’s be honest, it was only a blip. Chelsea will win the Premiership, they’ll win the Champions League if they get past Barcelona and they’ll probably win the FA Cup, too. Colchester are currently second in ”League One”, which is really the second division, but was once the third division of English football. They’re game, but they haven’t a chance.
Verdict: Chelsea 6 Colchester 1
Preston vs Boro
How can anyone predict this one? Middlesbrough are capable of beating Manchester United 4-1 and Chelsea 3-0. They’re also capable of losing 4-0 at home to Aston Villa and getting thrashed 7-0 at Arsenal. And Preston North End? They beat Luton 5-1 last week and manager Billy Davies is moving them nicely into contention for the leap into the Premiership.
Verdict: No bloody idea. Could be 2-0, could be 1-4, don’t ask me.
Stoke vs Birmingham
Blimey, Stoke are 16th in the first division and they were stuffed 3-0 in Cardiff last week before Tuesday’s 0-0 draw at home to Plymouth. To make things worse, striker Sambegou Bangara failed to show up after Guinea were knocked out of the African Nations Cup in Egypt. But hey, anybody’s got a chance against Steve Bruce’s Blues right now.
Verdict: Stoke 1 Birmingham 1