The cellphone rings. A message has just come in. Tendai Mukaro suspiciously glances around and chuckles as he reads the humorous message. Then in a minute he is punching on his phone, posting the just-received joke to family and friends.
It is the order of the day in Harare and other cities around the country. In the face of a battery of repressive laws that make it criminal to publicly criticise President Robert Mugabe and his government, Zimbabweans have resorted to cellphone messages to mock and poke fun at their political leadership in the wake of an unprecedented economic and political crisis.
The message Mukaro has received and is in turn sending around is a simple one. It says: ”The ruling party has just changed its symbol from the cock to a condom to reflect its new thrust. A condom allows inflation and kills the next generation.”
This is just one of hundreds of short cellphone messages doing the rounds in Zimbabwe and all meant to serve one purpose: deride and mock Mugabe and his government.
With an inflation rate of 1 193,5% and the economy now in its seventh straight year of recession, Zimbabweans are understandably a frustrated lot. For example, there is no food, fuel, electricity and essential medicines — in fact, every basic survival commodity is in critically short supply in the once-prosperous Southern African country.
Mugabe, the only ruler Zimbabweans have ever known since independence from Britain 26 years ago, refuses both to take blame for the crisis or to step down and pave way for a new leader with fresh ideas on how to pull the country out of the mire.
Instead, the 82-year old president has crafted a raft of media and security laws, such as the Access to Information and Protection of Privacy Act and the Public Order and Security Act, which make it a criminal offence to ridicule or blame him.
But fun-loving Zimbabweans appear to have found a way of circumventing the tight laws by mocking Mugabe and his ruling Zimbabwe African National Union-Patriotic Front party through cellphones and private e-mail messages to each other.
However, one still one has to be careful. The government’s dreaded spy agency, the Central Intelligence Organisation (CIO), is notorious for being vigilant and keeping its ears open for any utterances that may be denigrating to Mugabe and his government.
Take for example the case last year of a man who was arguing with his friend while on a public bus to Harare’s dormitory town of Chitungwiza. In frustration that his friend could not accept his point, he told him: ”You are just thick-headed like Mugabe.”
The next moment the man was arrested for insulting Mugabe by a CIO agent who was also travelling on the same bus. The man was later acquitted by a court on a technicality.
But Zimbabweans just love their fun. If the bitter economic crisis could not take away their sense of humour then it appears Mugabe’s spooks will not succeed in suppressing it either.
Take this cellphone message that started doing the rounds recently. It is couched in typical classified advertisement language and it goes: ”Country for sale. Non-runner. One owner since 1980. Offers?”
It is not clear where the jokes originate from, but whoever is responsible for creating them must be a very busy guy. There appears a joke for every economic or political problem the country is facing.
Days after the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe introduced a new Z$100 000 note to ease the burden for people who have to carry millions of dollars every day for ordinary transactions such as paying a child’s school fees, a new joke was already being sent to people’s cellphones. It said: ”It is only the government of Zimbabwe that loves its people so much that it has made everyone a millionaire!”
Columbus Mavhunga, who was a journalist on the Daily News newspaper banned by the government three years ago, believes the messages are vital to keep the people going.
According to Mavhunga, after the government closed five private newspapers and banned two radio stations under its draconian media laws, the messages are the only option that give the people a hearty laugh and make them temporarily forget their problems. ”If we don’t laugh, we will cry. Moreover, we are not allowed to say these things in public so we better exchange these cellphone messages and laugh at our government and ourselves. It reduces stress levels,” he says.
And with inflation hitting 1 193,5% last May and still on the rise, Zimbabweans have found yet another opportunity to laugh at themselves.
This is how the joke about the increasingly worthless Zimbabwe dollar goes: ”American President George Bush had $20 000, he bought himself a posh car. South African President Thabo Mbeki had R20 000, he bought a posh car. President Robert Mugabe had Z$20 000. He wanted Z$40 000 more to buy half a loaf of bread.”
It also appears no one cares much whether the jokes are morbid or not, as is illustrated by this joke about Mugabe and his two former vice-presidents, who are both late. The joke started doing the rounds after Mugabe turned 82 on February 21 this year.
This is how it goes: ”Vice-President Joshua Nkomo was 82 when he died. Vice-President Simon Muzenda was also 82 when he died. Mugabe has just turned 82. You never know what good happenings are in store for this nation. It’s just a thought.”
The government appears aware of the anti-government humour doing the rounds on cellphones, e-mails and on the internet. It has just promulgated an Interception of Communications Bill, which makes it legal for its spooks to snoop into people’s phones, letters and e-mails.
Well, maybe the proposed law and some technological help from its Chinese friends will finally enable the government to monitor what people tell each other by cellphone or via the internet.
But until then, Zimbabweans will continue to poke fun at their rulers and, who knows, with their ingenuity these crisis-hardened Zimbos — as they love to call themselves — may still devise other means of sharing a joke and a laugh at the expense of Mugabe and company. — ZimOnline