When Australian cricket commentator Dean Jones was fired for calling Hashim Amla a ”terrorist”, the manne were delighted. After all, if everyone went around indulging provocative and childish stereotypes, the Oom might be tempted to call Jones a livestock-romancing wife-beating string-vest-wearing racist bigot Australian yahoo from the arse end of nowhere whose gigantic mouth is writing cheques his tiny brain can’t cash. And that wouldn’t be fair, would it?
Lily white
Some of the regulars at the Dorsbult Bar like getting worked up whenever talk turns to the wealth of the nation, especially when Dok Rabie suggests that the economy is still largely in white hands. This week, however, they were tjoepstil, thanks to the Sunday Times ”rich list”, which revealed among other things the top 10 earners of 2005. And wouldn’t you know it?: whites 10, blacks 0.
Pay scales of justice
The list didn’t go down too well at the Dorsbult constabulary, either. It was Constable Hempies Magubane who did the sums and pointed out to his colleagues that it would take them roughly 1 850 years to earn the R111-million that Edcon’s Stephen Ross took home last year. Hempies says he’s sure Ross does something very important, but all the same …
Science schmience
Lemmer read this week that scientists have reversed the evolutionary process of lab mice by 500-million years, by splicing previously split genes. The manne aren’t impressed. Hell, we’ve got politicians who can reverse Aids research by 20 years just by taking a shower.
Omens
Lemmer hears that the manne across the way in Nelspruit are going to build a disaster management centre that will be able to predict natural disasters up to five days in advance. This is good news, but he assumes that some fine-tuning will be necessary after they switch it on, so that monitors don’t just read ”succession debate” and ”Bafana Bafana” 24 hours a day.
Blonde
Thank the Lord and let the angels sing, Caprice’s $1,5-million tanzanite-and-diamond belt buckle has been found! In the women’s toilet at the club where she lost it! ”No one was allowed to leave the club and everyone was checked if they have it,” said her spokesperson. ”Now everyone is relieved …” No kidding, Sherlock. Lemmer would be relieved too if it meant he could finally go home and stop being cavity-searched because some ageing hawker of scants thought it was a good idea to go to the toilet with R10-million around her waist. Jislaaik.