At the launch of the new South African Airways credit card, CEO Khaya Ngqula was heard to say that parents tend to neglect good children because the bad ones demand their attention. ”We are focusing very much on one of SAA’s good children,” said Ngqula. Ja, well, no fine. If anyone can figure out what Oom Khaya was on about — other than suggesting that SAA clients can expect patronising, paternalistic condescension — please let Lemmer know.
Gongs galore
According to its online newsletter, the African National Congress has started the search for the party’s ”best performing structures”. Gongs up for grabs include the Sol Plaatjie Award ”for the best performing ANC branch”; the Charlotte Maxeke Award ”for the best ANC Women’s League branch”, and the ZK Matthews Award ”for the best performing group of ANC councillors”. (It doesn’t say whether this group has to perform their own material or if covers are acceptable.) Lemmer wishes all contenders luck and hopes to see them back next year vying for the inaugural Alec Erwin Award for the best smoke-and-mirrors show by a minister shortly before an election.
Gloves are off
Last month former Deeyay health spokesperson Dianne Kohler- Barnard wrote in an e-mail that she would ”fight to the death” for smokers’ rights. Given Oom Krisjan’s life-long love affair with the Marico’s finest weed, he knows he should be grateful; but he worries that she may be biting off more than she can chew: protestations that she was no longer on the health portfolio might ring tinny if the Philip Morris tobacco company ever decides to take her up on her offer by sending a cage, three kick-boxers and a tiger.
By the balls
Darrell Hair’s ball-tampering allegations have caused considerable konsternasie down at the Dorsbult Bar, with the pro-Inzamam lobby accusing the pro-Hair lobby of everything from racism to evolutionism. For his part, Lemmer doesn’t know much about the seams of cricket balls, but he knows he’d love to see Bafana Bafana and the Springboks do a little ball-tampering. After all, if you’re tampering with it, it means you’ve won possession of it for at least 10 seconds …
Don’t Safa fools
And speaking of sporting farces, spare a thought for Lucas Radebe, apparently dangling in the updrafts of hot air spouted by the South African Football Association. ”I was surprised to hear Molefi Oliphant telling Parliament I was offered a job [by Safa] some time ago,” a bemused Rhoo told the Daily Sun this week. ”But then Safa CEO Raymond Hack denied knowing about my appointment. If I was offered a job, why would the CEO not know about it?” A good question, swaer, but one that more or less answers itself.