At the time of writing, I am a mere week and a half from joining my partner in marriage. Elopement is looking decidedly attractive.
When we first started planning, nine months ago, we decided we wanted something small, intimate and, preferably, cheap. This is more or less what we are getting, but it is certainly not going to be the budget affair we thought it would be. And, despite the smaller-scale spending, it seems to require just as much organising as if we were having a lavish black tie affair.
Now that I’ve (almost) done it, here’s my advice:
Decide what’s really important to you and go with that
We wanted a fun, funky party that everyone would enjoy, including us. So we came up with a vintage jazz theme, bought dress-up accessories such as fans and feather boas and hired a DJ. We wanted our guests to have great cake, so we’re ordering cupcakes in different flavours of chocolate. We’re paying R10 a cupcake — rather steep by cupcake standards — but as decorated, tiered wedding cakes start at R1Â 400, we’re still saving money. Flowers were less important to us and friends are taking the photographs.
Don’t read wedding magazines
I bought a couple, just to see what weddings are supposed to look like. It was a mistake. Wedding magazines are there to persuade you to spend more money — and the lavish affairs depicted in glossy photo spreads aren’t realistic for most people. Instead, talk to friends and surf the net for ideas.
Get your paperwork sorted out
The paperwork tripped us up big time. We decided early on that an antenuptial contract was important to us and asked a friend to draw one up. We hadn’t realised how complicated the contracts are or that a notary, rather than an ordinary attorney, is required to execute one. It costs between R1Â 000 and R5Â 000 to have an antenuptial contract drawn up and executed, depending on how complicated your affairs are. Because we already had a contract drawn up, we were able to negotiate this down.
Choose the right venue
The venue will, to a large extent, determine your budget. Some will lock you in to a specific caterer and florist; some will charge you corkage; some will charge you an arm and a leg merely to hire the venue; some will let you do whatever you want. One place charged R12Â 000 just to hire the venue.
Alternative venues for receptions include school and church halls, restaurants, museums and art galleries. You can often choose your own caterer and bring in your own alcohol. We considered having our reception in a country restaurant close to the church. The menu and bar prices were reasonable at R95 a head for the meal and R25 a bottle corkage fee. But it was more expensive than hiring a caterer, who is charging R75 a head, and we don’t have to pay corkage at the school, where we are holding the reception. The restaurant worked out R2Â 000 more expensive than the caterer.
Cut the guest list
The first tip any magazine or website will give you is still the best. If you keep the number of guests down, there are knock-on savings everywhere. You will pay for less food, require less wine, hire less crockery, order a smaller cake and send out fewer invitations. You will be able to hire a smaller venue and be able to spend time with each of your guests.
All of this makes perfect sense, except that it’s extremely difficult to do, especially is you subscribe to the tradition of big weddings where everyone is welcome. There will be a proportion of guests who don’t make it; there will be a proportion of guests who want to bring extra people. Hopefully they cancel one another out.
Chances are you won’t be able to have a three-course meal at a top hotel with a string quartet and fine champagne on a budget — unless you invite only six people. If you want a big wedding and have limited means, be creative. Here are some great ideas I heard of for keeping the costs down:
- A picnic reception
- A potluck reception, with a list of what each guest is bringing
- A breakfast, brunch or dessert reception
- A cocktail reception
- A tea party
- A reception at home
- A spitbraai