/ 3 August 2008

An entourage against introspection

Mariah Carey was once famously pictured with one of her lackeys holding a drink and straw to the diva’s mouth to save her from the exhausting process of latte-lifting. Metallica travels with a life coach.

Russell Crowe had two personal chefs on his books –one for him, one for his toddler. Oprah Winfrey has a bra handler (precise details of the job spec remain unclear) and when Lindsay Lohan went into rehab, her manicurist, massage therapist and hairdresser went too.

Truly, the travelling celebrity entourage is a thing of wonder and the United Kingdom’s Heather Mills has raised the bar yet further by taking a posse of 20 with her on holiday to Necker Island in the Caribbean, to celebrate the imminent decree absolute that will finally sunder her from ex-husband Paul McCartney.

The Mills team includes not only those de rigueur figures such as her personal assistant, security guard, mother and personal trainer but more exotic accoutrements including her interior designer, estate agent, a vegan shoemaker friend and a private photographer.

Knowing what we do about the multifaceted nature of the woman, all bets are off as to the occupations of the remaining dozen. A personal chaplain? A clown, for her sad days? A charitable cause-spotter to pick out the next big thing now that landmines are passe? Presumably there must be someone following in her wake at all times.

Finally, while Necker (owned by Richard Branson) is meant to be a hideaway, it is unlikely that Mills could truly relax without some constant reminder of her fame, so her entourage may well incorporate a professional autograph hunter or two — maybe even a stalker or Hello! interviewer — to banish the creeping anxiety that the outside world is continuing to turn quite happily without her. For that is the truth that all entourages are ultimately there to guard against. —