Star Wars dreams come true

If you’re a road-trip movie devotee, then this is for you. In classic smalltown United States four geeks, between refusing to grow up and striving to get laid, travel across the country to break into the Skywalker Ranch in Hollywood to catch a sneak preview of the first episode of the new Star Wars trilogy, The Phantom Menace. Having planned such an adventure as kids, and therefore clearly dense as they embark on fulfilling their childhood fantasy, their plans suddenly crystallise when they bump into none other than William Shatner (as William Shatner: the guy who makes your dreams come true).
Fanboys is not only for Star Wars fans; anyone who is willing to dumb down in the dark for an hour or so with or without a lightsaber will enjoy this entertaining revenge-of-the-nerds road trip. ­- Azad Essa

Marley and Me
John (Owen Wilson) and Jennifer (Jennifer Aniston) are an attractive newly wed couple starting their new life in a new town, in a new house and in new jobs. Before long Jennifer starts to do that wife thing (talk about babies) and so John, after seeking counsel from his best friend Sebastian (Eric Dane), decides to stall the procreation process by conning her with a puppy instead. Enter Marley, the cute Labrador at a discount price. Marley is easily the most destructive dog you’ve ever seen—eating phones, tearing down curtains, humping strangers—and he quickly steals the show. Marley and Me is really about a family’s love for the deviant Labrador and is hence the quintessential family comedy flick, with genuinely funny and touching moments, but be warned: the film is too long, is disjointed and poorly edited, and if dogs aren’t your thing you might end up howling with anguish.—AE

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
Based on a video/computer game, this is almost inevitably crap. Such movies are very seldom any good. Kristen Kreuk plays the titular Chun-Li, who sees her father being abducted as a child and later receives a mysterious scroll that leads her to an initiation into martial arts and a quest to right the wrongs of the past. Already I’m falling asleep, just writing this. The plot is entirely predictable, the acting is mostly pathetic, and even the fights are no better than routine. It does at least feature an actor with the intriguing name Moon Bloodgood.—Shaun de Waal

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