A few months ago, I spent time in a convent, living with nuns. True Story! Over a seven day period, I bonded with aging German nuns, who marvelled at the fact that I wore bright clothing and braided my hair in different styles almost daily. Most of them weren’t conversant in English and it would be a euphemism to describe my German as limited. As such, the majority of my interactions with these nuns were non-verbal — a warm smile to acknowledge someone in the corridors, a wave to signal my departure from the dining hall and so on. Come to think of it, it’s surprising how easy it is to communicate kindness. The day-to-day exchanges, in their simplicity and at times, silence, made an enduring impression on me. I tried, from my secular worldview, to understand what had motivated these women to make such a radical and politically defiant choice. One of the things that clearly stood out as I witness pensioned nuns shuffle about, cooking, cleaning and caring for one another, was that the value of service is absolutely central to their daily existence.
This Christmas for example, the nuns who hosted me, Sr. Pia and Sr. Chrysologa, will combine their savings, accumulated mostly from small gifts from friends, to bake biscuits. These biscuits will be sold at a fair in their village of Schlehdorf. The proceeds from their sales will be sent to a home for people who’ve been made vulnerable by Aids here in South Africa. This is something they do every year. I was greatly humbled by the fact that these two elderly nuns, one of whom only has the use of one arm, have taken it upon themselves to continue to serve even when they themselves are no longer at their fittest. And this, I believe, reveals some very important lessons about the place of service in our lives.
Lesson 1: Serve Now (and always)
Part of the foolishness of youth is the belief that there’s a calm and stable future that awaits us and I can confidently proclaim this because I suffer from this stupidity. In this stable future, we imagine that we’ll finally be able to do all the things we presently cannot. As ‘fully grown’ adults, settled in our careers, with fat bank balances, we’ll be able to cast our eyes back to where our hearts are. It’s a lie. Every period in one’s life has its own demands, all of which can be overwhelming. Therefore if one has it in their heart to serve their community, there is no better time to do it than the present.
Lesson 2: To Serve is to Become More Fully Human
I borrow from Paolo Freire when I use the expression ‘to become more fully human’. It seems to me, the most apt way of capturing the real essence of what drives the nuns from Schlehdorf and the global community of people who serve. In serving, one encounters the real duality of the human condition. That is, that our nature is to be both rich and poor at the same time, to both have and to need, always. As such, delaying service is to labour under the false illusion that one will reach a point where they have ‘enough’ or more than they need. In truth, even as givers, we always need and as receivers, we always have something to give. Therefore, to serve, even when your bank balance is zero, is testament to the truth of who we are- people with a naturally endless reserve of things to offer to other people. And indeed, truly knowing that you are always needed affirms your existence. You may not have money, but someone out there needs your time, your attention, your kind words. Until you’ve served, you may be oblivious to this.
Lesson 3: Teach Service
And herein comes the teacher. Serving is something that can be cultivated in the classroom. Even at 25, I feel overwhelmed by media messages that suggest that I should be the coolest, the richest, the best-est as an individual. I don’t doubt that many students are under the same alienating pressures. If we teach service as we do all the lessons, regularly and practically, we give students the opportunity to experience themselves as part of the collective that is humanity. I refer here to students helping out regularly at old age homes; growing vegetables in the school yard for families in need; putting on talent shows and using the proceeds for a worthy cause. The list is endless. I therefore advocate that if schools are to be the hub of our cultural reproduction, let service be amongst the humanising values at the centre of our curriculum.
Fumani Mthembi is a researcher specialising in child, youth, family and social development at the Human Sciences Research Council