/ 18 December 2009

What’s holding you back?

What’s holding you back?

Thinking through negative assumptions and turning It’s coming to that time when we begin to take stock of the year gone by. Some of us have had our performance appraisals, others are thinking of a job change, or even a career switch. As we think through these things, there is something that should be top of mind; the power of limiting assumptions.

”Everything we do depends for its quality on the thinking we do first” — thus begins Nancy Kline’s book Time to Think.

Kline says that fundamental to everything we do are the assumptions we make — whether enabling or disabling. Most of our assumptions are mundane. I get up and leave early for an appointment because I assume the traffic will be heavy. I invite people for dinner and cater on the assumption that some people will not eat red meat.

But beyond the mundane, there are assumptions harboured within us that are deeply powerful.

Think of the best decision you made in your life. What were you assuming that enabled you to make that decision?

Think of the most difficult challenge you’ve faced; what did you assume that empowered you to tackle it in the way you did?

But what about when you have something in mind that you want to do, a goal you want to achieve, and you’re stuck. It’s as though you’re on the bicycle in the gym, pedalling like mad, but you’re going nowhere.

The likelihood is there’s a limiting assumption that’s holding you back.

Kline provides a process for thinking through limiting assumptions and turning them around.

Her intention is to get you to a place of identifying a ”Credible Liberating Alternative Assumption”. And once you’ve got this you can craft what she calls an ”Incisive Question”, a question with your own razor-sharp content that cuts through the limiting assumption and gets you to a new place of possibility and action.

Part one. ”Setting the Goal” has only one question: what challenging step do you want to take in your life right now? This could be professional or personal. Mine’s both: in 2010 I want to commit a day a week to book writing.

Part two deals with assumptions: what am I assuming that stops me from taking that step?

I am assuming that … in my case I need to be available for work opportunities to reach a target income.

What else might I be assuming … that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, that my book project is overambitious.

Of those assumptions, which is the most disabling?

Lots of assumptions are grounded in old fears that have taken up long-term residence in our minds: I’m assuming I’m not good enough. I’m assuming I’m not clever enough. I’m assuming everybody will think I’m stupid. Beware of the ”everybody” voices in our minds; they often cause us to edit ourselves. In this case I’m assuming that I need a target income that requires me to be available all the time, any time, Monday to Friday.

Part three requires you to test the truth of your own limiting assumption, remembering that we are creatures with the capacity for denial.

Do I really think it is true that … ?

And what are my reasons for thinking it’s true?

When you ask yourself for reasons this is when you might find yourself on shaky ground.

Yes, I think I can’t do a master’s degree because in grade two I did not get the merit award as my sisters did before me; I got only the attendance award. Sometimes it’s blatantly clear that the assumption is not true. There’s a track record of data that confirms your ability to take the step you desire. But it may also be true, or possibly true, and you can provide your own steadfast rationale for why you think this is so.

Then if you leave it here, you’re stuck. Most of us don’t want to be stuck. Try asking the question that is part four of the process: ”What would I credibly have to assume to take that step?” Notice the word ”credibly”. This is not the miracle question. You’re asking yourself to consider from within your realm of possibilities what it is that you can credibly assume that will empower you?

Once you have your Credible Liberating Alternative Assumption, go to part five, craft your own incisive question: if I knew that …

I knew that I write best on Mondays and can earn enough being flexible on the other days, I’d keep Mondays sacrosanct.

Then ask yourself: ”What would change for me?” I would protect Mondays. I’d feel a new energy.

Then ask yourself: ”How would I take that first step?” I would reschedule my coaching practice.

In a nutshell: identify your goal. Find your limiting assumptions. Choose the one that is most limiting you. Check out if it is true, not true, or possibly true? Insist on identifying a Credible Alternative Liberating Assumption. Use it to craft an incisive question that slays the limiting assumption. Identify what’s going to happen once you allow yourself to imagine that possibility. If it’s worked for you, then you should now have reached the

”Yes I Can” magic energy spot.

Helena Dolny can be contacted at [email protected]