Sukasha Singh discovers Bentley’s new flagship model is adept at deceiving those within it into believing they’re better than the rest
I just don’t get it. Why would I spend this much money on a car? It seems ridiculous.
Maybe if I was worth R4-billion I wouldn’t think twice about spending a trifling R5,25-million on an über-luxury barge, though I’m not so sure about that. I think that no matter how much money I have, I will always sweat over every little cent — or will I?
Let’s be honest here. You and I are not good with our money. We’ve been brash when we’ve come into money and done stupid things like blown it on four-day parties, we’ve treated our friends to fine Scotch for such a long time that they turn their noses up when they’re offered bottom-of-the-range Johnnie Walker Red and we’ve managed time and again to drain our credit cards almost to the point of no return.
We’re not going to sweat the pennies when being pound foolish has been de rigueur for Saffas for such a long time, so let’s stop lying about how thrifty we are.
If we had the bucks, we’d buy a fleet of Bentleys — one for every day of the week — and when the bucks have been slaughtered, we’d find a way to uphold the artifice that we feel defines us, and that’s when the news that Bentley is setting up a second-hand division will warm the cockles like nothing else could.
Although I wonder whether anyone buying a second-hand Bentley would ever admit to it. “Really, you think this looks like a 2007 Flying Spur? Well, it just shows how little you know because this is a 2010 Flying Spur and 30000km isn’t difficult to do in six months when you’re driving such a comfortable car” is what you’re likely to hear from the chap getting out of the fuchsia Bentley.
Conjecture aside, there are anything from 50 000 to 90 000 dollar millionaires in South Africa with a combined wealth of about $390-billion. A quick survey of car manufacturers selling cars in excess of R1,5-million shows that South Africa ranks inordinately high in the global market for super-expensive vehicles. For AMG Mercedes-Benzes, which cost upwards of R1,5-million, South Africa ranks in the top five for global sales and for Aston Martin we rank in the top 15.
So it stands to reason that manufacturers such as Bentley are now prioritising bringing newly launched models to our shores as there’s undoubtedly a market for them.
The Bentley Mulsanne (pronounced moolsun) is on a world tour, but stopped in Mzansi for a month before it heads off to Singapore.
And despite the Mulsanne being here for just a few weeks, three have already been sold. Bentley Johannesburg general manager Rens Rademeyer wouldn’t divulge who the buyers were and when I prodded a few too many times for the identities of the tycoons, he gently reminded me of the PR fiasco that ensued when Maybach made the mistake a few years ago of divulging which BEE barons had purchased its cars, only to have said fat cats cancel their orders.
The Mulsanne is a strikingly beautiful yet somewhat staid car, the kind that has the ability to stop traffic. Then again, practically any Bentley elicits the sort of dropped jaws that few cars can these days.
As the sun rose on the Mulsanne parked in front of the zhoozh Bentley dealership in Bryanston I was a little overwhelmed by its girth and was nervous of navigating it through the melee that is Jo’burg’s morning traffic.
Thankfully, another scribe was given that task while I had the pleasure of slipping into the rear seat the way one slips into something more comfy after a hard day’s work in front of an Apple Mac.
Rademeyer, who was sitting in front of me, asked politely if I had enough room and I thought he was being facetious because the cavernous rear has ample space for, at least, three portly felines.
Of course, my seat was electronic and I had my own temperature zone, as well as a window blind, individual ashtray, reading light and a tray attached to the back of the front seat for the Moët that never arrived.
So ensconced was I in the opulent surrounds that I completely forgot to engage with the minions in the small talk that makes everyone feel at ease. Instead, with the softness of Diana Krall wafting through the superlative 20-speaker Naim for Bentley premium sound system, I crossed my long legs, adjusted my seat and promptly nodded off feeling very pleased that I had chosen to spritz myself in my Bulgari perfume that morning as opposed to my run-of-the-mill Eau Dynamisante.
Turns out the Bulgari fumes weren’t a good idea as I have a particularly sensitive shnoz and after a few minutes of my head lolling ungraciously on my neck, much like a balloon on a stick, my nose was then too close to my collar and I was forced into consciousness and a chat.
The air suspension on the Mulsanne can be appreciated only from the rear seats as this is where you will discover that South African roads are actually made of silk. Okay, that’s stretching things a tad, but it is nonetheless exceedingly comfortable in the rear seats.
When it was my turn to drive, I wasn’t all that keen, but when I realised that the Mulsanne has a sports mode, I jumped at the chance to keep everyone else in the car awake by testing just how sporty this mode was.
Turns out the eight-speed gearbox attached to the 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V8 (which produces 377kW of power and 1 020Nm of torque), was pretty responsive and for some bizarre reason the music, which had been perfectly mellow all along, changed to Linkin Park while I was driving. I suppose resident DJ Rademeyer chose not to be subtle about what he thought of my driving style.
In truth, he was simply showing us just how thunderous the 2 200W Naim system was — well, that’s what he said — and weirdly Linkin Park was the perfect soundtrack, even in a car as swanky as this.
The Mulsanne is the new flagship in the Bentley range, which replaces the Arnage, and, although it functions quite nicely as a luxurious limo, it also offers up a surprisingly engaging drive.
It goes without saying that the Mulsanne comes equipped with an alphabet soup of safety aids with everything from the aluminium front wings — sculpted by using aerospace technology — to the LED tail-lights (shaped to echo the exhaust) all combining to leave you wondering when artifice started imitating life.