Dr Sabie Surtee, director of her own company, Gnavitas: Coaching and Consultancy Services, describes a mentor as someone you would usually admire or respect or would like to emulate. “A coach asks the coachee the right questions to get the latter to find the best solutions or plan of action to proactively meet goals or address challenges. In contrast, a mentor shares his or her solutions that were used successfully to address similar goals or challenges.”
Surtee, who holds a PhD from the University of the Witwatersrand and a masters degree in sociology from the University of Toronto, is also director of Hers-SA, an organisation that runs leadership courses for women academics.
She believes it is important to have a life coach or mentor because ‘both … take a person out of victim mode and encourage the individual to take responsibility to meet goals or objectives”.
You can find a suitable coach through word of mouth or by approaching a coaching school or college that would have details of practising coaches.
Says Surtee: “Believe in your potential to live your best life. Get a coach to help you clarify what your best life would look like and what plan of action you would need to take to get there. After this, never stop believing that it is within your grasp.”
Surtee has had her own challenges. “Having entered the labour market during the apartheid era immediately upon my completion of high school, [I found that] gender and racial discrimination prevented me from breaking through the glass ceilings I encountered. Career advancement at the time was virtually impossible for a white-collar worker such as myself.
“I then embarked on a journey of self-discovery and had exposure to a vast body of knowledge through university studies. The attainment of knowledge, a critical mind and the accompanying self-esteem was instrumental in helping me to smash through glass ceilings that previously limited my career advancement and entry into certain professions.”
Striking a balance in life is essential. “It is a challenge to juggle different spheres in one’s life to strike a healthy balance. But, through the right support from a mentor, coach, family, friends, and colleagues, it is possible.”
Surtee believes that “me time” is very important. She describes this as allocating time to recharge your batteries and become more grounded and calmer. This could involve saying daily affirmations, keeping a journal and engaging in various spiritual practices.
“If this ‘me time’ is not done regularly, you could more than likely end up feeling as if life is spiralling out of control, which in turn leads to other challenges to one’s health, relationships, career, finances, and so on … It is therefore absolutely important to make the time to step off the treadmill to catch one’s breath and hop on again with more energy and assertiveness.”
Kim Meszaros, marketing executive at Kelly, says she believes that the most common challenge women face is finding balance.
“Knowing where and how to place your energy without relinquishing your femininity is an insecurity many women face. The ‘balance’ is different for each woman and the tactics required to reach a balance are not always straightforward.”
Meszaros says it is, “always ‘work hard, play hard’ for mothers when both home and work are demanding, and both are important”.
She advises women to: