Mention the term “mom’s taxi” and my brain parks itself in neutral. Not because I have no interest in procreating and therefore don’t understand why people are constantly over-populating the planet, but more because a “mom’s taxi” takes a utilitarian approach to transport and, as such, it’s usually as exciting as a bean counters’ conference.
Mom’s taxis are for taking the offspring to school, tennis, ballet, basically whatever you think they should do with their little lives until you push them out the door and past the electric fence when they’re 18.
The regular mom’s taxi is for the mom who has resigned herself to doing nothing more with her life than falling into the role that religion, culture and her peers tell her is the only path to a “meaningful life”.
This is when the stereotypical seven-seater comes into play for that woman who would never question anything in life — not some twerp’s interpretation of God, not another twerp’s interpretation of what “a good woman” is and she certainly would never question that ultimate authority, “her husband”.
Given that this woman is incapable of original thought or is too afraid to distinguish herself from the Stepford Wives tribe, she might just deserve to drive a drop-dead boring mom’s taxi such as the Toyota Verso, which in time could prove to have the same salubrious effect as a frontal lobotomy.
But if you’re the kind of woman who thinks that letting a parasite leech your life force for nine months means that it must, at the very least, carry your surname as well as your significant other’s; if the major decisions in your life haven’t been influenced by restrictive societal norms; and if you are still determined to make your mark in some way other than concentrating solely on a child or a husband (or both), then there may just be a mom’s taxi to suit your sassy radicalism.
Porsche’s newest addition to the Panamera range is the all-wheel-drive Panamera 4, which at R780 000 is hardly the price one could justify paying for a car intended to do the dreary work of fetching and dropping off the sprogs. But when one considers how much one’s hubby spends on the luxury barge doing the dreary work of taking him to the office, the golf course, the pub and home, then one surely has grounds for a vehicle of equivalent worth.
As always, one must consider what the R780 000 buys you. No, it’s not happiness on wheels, but it comes pretty close to being exactly that.
The marketing folk at Porsche say they would like more women, particularly businesswomen, to give the brand a try and what better car to entice them than an exceptional four-door sports sedan, which could theoretically double up as a mom’s taxi if one doesn’t have too many progeny.
The Panamera isn’t Porsche’s first foray into family transport as the SUV Cayenne is already into its second generation, but it is the company’s first four-door sedan and as such it needed to live up to the greatest of expectations even if just about everyone, including Aston Martin and Lamborghini, has launched some form of family car this year.
But a Porsche needs to remain true to the sporting history of the brand while ensuring it’s at the cutting edge of technology — green and otherwise — and it needs to exhibit the sort of ride quality and exuberance that, much like a cheesy Eighties song, “takes your breath away”.
The new Panamera succeeds in being a lively drive thanks to its 3.6-litre V6 engine, which develops 220kW of power and 400Nm of torque. And the performance shouldn’t cause the greenies among us to fret because the Panamera V6 comes equipped with many eco-innovations such as stop-start technology, which switches the engine off when the car stops and starts it up again when pressure is applied to the accelerator. It also has a combined fuel consumption of 9.6 litres/100km as well as the seven-speed dual-clutch PDK transmission, which allows one to drive in either manual or automatic mode — driving in automatic modecan lower the fuel consumption.
Although Porsche Centre South Africa group chief executive Toby Venter highlighted the Panamera’s green credentials, he also mentioned that South Africa’s new C02 tax was “misguided, badly thought out and is targetting the wrong people”.
“We are a green company and we spend a great deal of money on developing green technology … but because we believe the new tax to be unfair, we’ll be absorbing the cost of the tax for our customers,” said Venter.
What this effectively means is that, whereas other manufacturers will be increasing the price of their cars, Porsche will not increase its prices until next year. “We’re fortunate in that we’re a family business so we can reduce the returns on our own investment because we want to maintain a good relationship with our customers,” said Venter.
Clearly, South African Porsche owners are appreciative of Venter’s approach as more Porsches were sold in South Africa last month — for the first time in the company’s history — than in any other country in the Middle Eastern/African region, which includes oil-rich states in the United Arab Emirates.
Back to the Panamera 4.
The only shortcoming in this car is the arrangement of the many technical features in the centre console on either side of the gear shift. There are enough acronymed buttons in this space to confuse most geeks let alone those who aren’t au fait with technical abbreviations. Then again if you’re a Porsche owner, the proximity of these buttons might not be as overwhelming as it is for us non-Porsche drivers.
The Panamera is exceedingly comfortable, has a raft of safety and green features and is the perfect way to transport the children around in comfort while not sacrificing your very significant need to drive a car that blows your hair back and sets you apart from the prat pack.