/ 1 March 2011

Oohs, aahs as funny old Bob turns 87

Oohs

As far as presidential birthdays go, Zimbabweans have the best ones. The mill that spews forth President Robert Mugabe’s praises runs all year, but on his birthday it goes full throttle.

This year, as he celebrated his 87th birthday amid new rumours over his health and with dictators in the north falling, Mugabe was eager to remind everyone that he is far from copping it.

Last week he was ushered into his office lobby by a butler in white gloves and guided towards a cake. He calmly blew out the candles — which with good sense numbered much less than 87.

Surrounded by adoring staff, he played the defiant revolutionary, declaring he was not going anywhere, but also opened up with some of the personal, softer side his handlers have been trying to encourage from him.

With dozens jailed days before for allegedly plotting “Egypt-style” rebellion — they were arrested while watching videos of the protests — Mugabe reckoned the country still needed him.

There was no question of leaving office while imperialists were still at the door. “As long as there is still a case for one to put up a struggle, one decides that one can’t go before the struggle is over. So I pray that the Lord will preserve me until the struggle is over,” he said. A trip to Singapore for an eye check-up raised new speculation over his health.

But he was eager to prove to his younger colleagues that he still has the stamina to withstand the tough weekly Cabinet meetings, known to last hours. He dared them to hold the meetings twice a week. But he also deliberately gave glimpses into his personal life.

The rosary
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his rosary, which he said was given to him back in 1975 by his late mother, Bona, as he fled Zimbabwe for Mozambique to lead the struggle. For 36 years, the rosary has never left his pockets, he said, to adoring “oohs” and “aahs” from his audience. But the most fun was in the state media, where the praise flowed thick and fast.

The leading report on the main news bulletin was that “43 babies had been born by lunchtime to coincide with the birthday of the Head of State and Government and Commander-in-Chief of the Zimbabwe Defence Forces”.

The babies’ mothers were “ecstatic”, the journalist reported from a hospital ward, microphone in one hand and lucky baby in the other. To have your baby “share a birthday with the president is a joy to cherish for most mothers”, the reporter said.

The mothers were “delighted and expressed hope that their children would emulate the wholesome character of President Mugabe, whom many describe as a great pan-Africanist and a champion of economic empowerment”, the report went on.

In a special supplement carried in The Herald Mines Minister Obert Mpofu, who signs off official letters to Mugabe as “your ever-obedient son”, hailed “a dedicated, courageous, diligent and unwavering leader whose love for the nation before self shall forever be cherished”.

The Zimbabwe Republic Police said it “cherishes his gallant and insightful leadership that continues to guide the organisation in its quest to create a crime-free environment for total development”.

For the ministry of indigenisation, charged with effecting Mugabe’s empowerment laws, Mugabe was “a mirror that we always have to look at to gauge our commitment to the empowerment of our citizens”.

The main celebrations this weekend will be hosted by the 21st February Movement, formed in Mugabe’s honour in 1986 to “inculcate in the youths the spirit of patriotism and diligence espoused by President Mugabe and educate the young people on his sterling works and principled stance on various issues before and after independence from Britain in 1980”.

Youths will wear red scarves around their necks, sing songs and recite poetry in Mugabe’s praise and against imperialists. A concert will be held, lasting into Sunday.

Mugabe’s image handlers have repeatedly emphasised the ordinary, funny Mugabe. An article this week by George Charamba, Mugabe’s long-time press secretary, described the president’s “remarkably ­standard chair”.

Charamba was also eager to provide evidence of Mugabe’s legendary biting humour. Once, he wrote, he had briefed Mugabe on claims by Libyan leader Moammar Gadaffi, a friend of Mugabe, that William Shakespeare was, in fact, an Arab. Mugabe replied: “Sheikh-Spear?”