/ 27 June 2013

Doma death redraws gay couples’ map

Doma Death Redraws Gay Couples' Map

When American Dan Brotman flew back to South Africa this week, he had much to celebrate after years of spearheading a campaign for binational, same-sex couples living “in exile" in this country. 

As young professionals, Brotman (26) and his South African fiancé, Keith Mienies (28), will now be free to choose where to pursue work opportunities, after the United States Supreme Court this week struck down a law that defines marriage as between a man and woman only. 

The restrictions of the discriminatory Defence of Marriage Act, known as Doma, has forced many gay and lesbian binational couples to leave the United States, and live abroad. The Act was signed into law in 1996 by then president Bill Clinton, who later apologised to the nation for signing it.

In California this week, there were parties in the street as another US Supreme Court ruling on its contentious ballot Proposition 8, also paved the way for same-sex marriage to resume in the state. 

At their home in trendy Observatory in Cape Town, Brotman and Mienies appeared relieved to have been given the freedom to choose whether they wanted to live and work here or in the US.

This week their miniature Dachshund Peanuts had more rights than Mienies to live in the United States with Brotman, who currently works as the head of media and public affairs at the Cape South African Jewish Board of Deputies.

Unequal 
Although Americans with a foreign spouse or partner of the opposite sex have long been able to petition for the partner to get resident visas or green cards, federal law did not allow the same privileges for same-sex spouses or partners.

“We looked into it before we got Peanuts," Brotman said, stroking the chocolate-brown dog with startling green eyes. “I could have simply taken Peanuts in a carrier on to a plane with me and we could have gone and lived in the US. Yet Keith wouldn't have been able to join us until now. 

After he met Mienies while on exchange at the University of Cape Town, Brotman chose to uproot and leave the US to give the relationship a chance.

The couple have been able to live in South Africa because Mienies was permitted to sponsor Brotman for a life partner visa. The change in the law in the US now means Brotman will be able to apply for a green card for Mienies, whom he is marrying at the elegant Tokara wine farm in Stellenbosch in November this year. 

“I proposed to Keith on our two-year anniversary," said Brotman. “Right now, our lives are here and we are planning on staying here for the time being. But we now have the option of living in both countries. It will make me sleep easier at night. As my family lives in the US, I had to choose between living with Keith or living in my country with my family. Now we know we can live near either family, it will improve my quality of life and my mental state."

Brotman said it had been a “long journey" for many same-sex binational couples, especially as those who were forced to live in exile were often overlooked.

Long fight
In his fight against Doma, Brotman tracked down other same-sex binational couples living in Cape Town, and they recently met the US consul general, Erica Barks-Ruggles, and two senior diplomats to discuss their plight. 

Living in the same street as Brotman in Observatory is 29-year-old American Caroline Triggs, who shares a home with her South African partner, Megan Davids. The couple met while teaching English in Korea. 

Because of Doma, when they decided to leave Korea they had no choice but to return to South Africa. Neither Triggs nor Davids has been able to find work in their chosen profession, and the couple are battling to make ends meet.

“I have an American degree in speech pathology and audiology, but because of the way the degree was structured, I don't have the clinical background to practise in this country," said Triggs. “I now have a job managing a guest house and I am earning very little. It is so disheartening to be in a situation where we can't make ends meet." 

Triggs is from Mississippi, which she described as conservative, and her parents have had to adjust to her being in a same-sex relationship. 

“We will have to see what happens next," she said. “I have approached a lawyer, who is giving free consultations to binational same-sex couples, and we will see if we can't get Megan into the US."

Same-sex binational couples in Cape Town have welcomed the news that American President Barack Obama has publicly celebrated the striking down of Doma. 

“This was discrimination enshrined in law. It treated loving, committed gay and lesbian couples as a separate and lesser class of people," Obama said in a message released by the White House. “The Supreme Court has righted that wrong and our country is better off for it."

Celebrations
The change in the law could not have come at a better time for South African Simon Williamson and his American partner, Michael McClelland, who live in Chicago. Though the state of Illinois permits only civil unions, the couple were married in South Africa.

“Doma being struck down is an incredible boon for me and my husband," said Williamson in email correspondence with the Mail & Guardian. 

“We're lucky that South Africa recognises our marriage as it meant that we would always be able to live in South Africa, as he would be able to get spousal rights through his marriage to me. 

“Until Doma was struck down, we had merely the time left on my visa to stay in the US. Now that the federal government is going to recognise our marriage, it means we will be able to choose where to live and not be limited by which of our home countries accepts our union. That's the biggie.

“Any married, binational, straight couple would be able to apply for a green card, or something similar, for the foreign half. For gay couples in the US, that wasn't possible until now. There was a real risk that where we lived would be determined by little more than where our marriage licence was valid."

It appears that, around the world, celebration over the death of the Doma law has only just begun.