/ 9 July 2013

Ten ways you know you’re a closet DA supporter

Ten Ways You Know You're A Closet Da Supporter

South Africa's political landscape has changed dramatically in the past few months ahead of the 2014 general elections. Now the born frees – born after apartheid ended – get to vote for the first time, which has quite a few people excited. Then there are the new kids on the block: Mamphela Ramphele's Agang SA, Julius Malema's Economic Freedom Fighters and a few other bits and bobs. They will no doubt open up the political space in new and exciting ways, even if the ANC will continue to command the lion's share of the votes.  

As we get closer to elections you have to ask yourself: who do you support? And are they cool enough? Because often our political views aren't as trendy as we'd like them to be: like the ruling ANC you may look left but be moving right. 

Enter the official opposition, the Democratic Alliance. With its endless faux pas and complete lack of tact, it is a cringe-worthy option at best for the sort of South African who fancies themselves informed and sensitive. But smug as it is, the DA has managed to grow on some of the most unlikely people.

In fact, I've known many smart, middle-class people who are avowedly anti the sort of know-it-all, blundering attitude that is synonymous with the DA. They wouldn't be caught dead in a blue shirt, and are either repulsed or not too sure of some of the more extreme DA positions and decisions. Yet I can't help but notice that they often have views in keeping with DA statements. 

Which is part of the problem. It's easy to agree with the DA when so much of what they say is popular sentiment and a legitimate – albeit obvious – reaction to poor governance. The fact is that the government does make the DA's job easy.

But this doesn't make it any less difficult to be in agreement with it.

So to help you out, I've put together this checklist. Read it and then ask yourself: are you an inadvertent DA supporter, despite yourself?

  • You hated the "Know your DA" campaign but couldn't help but notice that you knew all that stuff already.
  • You did a little dance on the inside when you heard about the rogue ANC councillors in Tlokwe who ousted their own mayor and put a DA one in his place.
  • You are Joe9833 on News24's comment section, the one who uses his exclamation points rather liberally, but you would never admit as much to your friends.
  • You can't help but notice that Cape Town city does seem to be rather well-run in some ways … even if you would never admit as much to the people who live there.
  • You know it's a big deal but you're still not sure what exactly is wrong with a portable flush toilet.
  • You protested the loudest about the "education refugee" statement made by Helen Zille but felt kind of bad for her that everyone lost sight of the dire education situation in the Eastern Cape in the process.
  • You can't help but look good in that particular shade of blue. Damnit.
  • You love Cosatu general secretary Zwelinzima Vavi as much as the next pinko-liberal but you're still unsure why labour brokers are so bad.
  • You're sick to death of the DA going on about the youth wage subsidy, but you wish the state would at least give it a go since there don't seem to be any better ideas on dealing with youth unemployment.
  • You're inspired whenever you hear Mamphela Ramphele speak about building the South Africa of your dreams, but when it comes to the ballot box you'd rather pick the devil you know than the devil you don't – especially after what Cope did with your last vote.