Five SA Christian Greys and what they would say

The 50 Shades of Grey author EL James finally revealed who would portray the lead in the film adaptation of the book.

Don't know who that is? Relax, a quick Twitter search will give you everything you apparently need to know.

But in other news, here's a list of South African Grey potentials who could be cast as the lead in this soft-core film.

Disclaimer: This is a satirical list. While we appreciate the fact that South Africa has a lot to offer in the man candy department – there's really nothing funny or particularly smart about offering up Chad le Clos or Masego "Maps" Maponyane, because damn, we all know they could definitely pave the way for an on-screen Grey.

With that said, here is a list of who couldn't actually play Christian Grey but who really should, just because hearing them recite these lines from the book would be really funny and quite the opposite of a "sexy" beckoning. 

1. Julius Malema 
Now who could refuse this guy? Any Anastasia would be lucky. Look how expressive he is!


 

2. Steve Hofmeyr
No. Whoever's making Steve's palm twitch, please stop.

3. Jacob Zuma
Just in case you didn't know, Zuma doesn't mean this in the Christian Grey way.  

?

4. Ninja from Die Antwoord
Nor is Christian Grey Ninja. But maybe you need to consider it?

5. Kenny Kunene
Yes Kenny, we know. Somehow though, when Christian Grey announces it, I imagine that it's slightly sexier. Although …

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