Kelly Khumalo’s seven deadly sins

While we tweet about Kelly Khumalo and point digital fingers in her direction, I think it's time we take a look at ourselves. Because the very act of engaging with all of this may fall into one of the following new age deadly sin categories.

  • Greed – Tweeting about what you wish you had for lunch. 
  • Gluttony – Actually having what you wanted for lunch and then Instagramming your delicious meal for all the world to see, from several angles.
  • Lust – The need to acquire as many followers as you can, because obviously without this you cannot possibly be a fully functional human being. You have needs. 
  • Envy – Dare I say it, but this deadly sin often rears its ugly head in the form of replies and comments beneath other people's pictures posts and status updates. You know what I mean *winks.
  • Sloth – Register for Nike Run Jozi. Walk Nike Run Jozi. Tweet about Nike Run Jozi, take pictures and walk around instead. (I have first-hand experience with this one).
  • Wrath – One word: subtweeting.
  • Pride – Hashtag selfie.

After this week's incident, in which Kelly made headlines for allegedly assaulting the wife of Orlando Pirates goalkeeper Senzo Meyiwa, it's so easy to sit back and watch her life's show unfold while coming up with seven deadly sins specific to her.

Here we go:

1. Skin whitening:

It's a vicious circle, Kelly. Promise.

2. Tweeting in tongues: 

Dear South Africans who are saying that Kelly tweets in tongues: we have 11 official languages. I know that's a lot to take in and it probably makes you think that that's all the languages in the world. But this may just be a 12th language and not tongues at all.

3 & 4. Ratchet behaviour and jail time for said ratchet behaviour.

5. Confessing to taking drugs with Molemo "Jub Jub" Maarohanye: 

*Claps once. Winning Kelly, absolutely winning!

6. Fake make-ups over a meal with then rival Khanyi Mbau:

The rift between these two has been touted as the battle of the divas. In an effort to publicly make amends with the singer-actor, Kelly and Khanyi sat down for some chicken in a TV ad. I'm just disappointed no one licked their fingers.

7. Falling prey to the buzz of a reality show that turned out to be really lame:

Just as she says in the clip of her now dead reality TV show, Rolling With Kelly Khumalo, we're really not feeling it either, Kelly.

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