Hlaudi Motsoeneng, private citizen and, he believes, future president of South Africa by way of another stint at the SABC he once controlled as chief operating officer, held a press conference in Johannesburg on Wednesday. After diligently taking notes for two-and-a-half hours, we have selected some of the best bits:
• On being paid his full salary while sitting at home: “There is nothing wrong when a black person is paid a lot of money … I think I’m paid what I deserve … I can tell you there are so many people asking me to join them, [offering to pay] me double or triple.”
• On his claims of political support should he want to run for office in the future: “I said I can mobilise 20‑million [supporters]; what I know is the majority of South Africa, everywhere that I go, they want Hlaudi somewhere … they want a very senior position.”
• On the structure of Parliament: “If I was a politician, I would never allow that you have 10 or 20 political parties. For what? … We need to change the Constitution so that people who are there, they have numbers behind them, they have people behind them.”
• On national government policy: “I started this radical transformation. You know that I started that thing? And I see that people have joined me.”
• On why he is indispensable to the SABC: “In life, what people ignore is talent to do certain things. You know there is that talent; you can’t take it away. You can have all many people [but] if they don’t have that thing of Hlaudi, forget [it].”
• On economic policy: “If you impose austerity, it means that you can’t invest in black people.”
• On state capture allegations: ”Who are working for the Guptas? South Africans. When you chase them away, you are saying: ‘Go back to the shacks that you come from.’”
• On race: “Not all white people are bad. Not all of them. It is like black people. Not all of them are bad.”
• On language: “English can’t make you a better person.”
For an analysis on how the key to Hlaudi Motsoeneng’s wisdom lies in comparative testicle size, see mg.co.za/hlaudiballs