(Reuters)
FIFTH COLUMN
It was the worst time to have a costume on: 1pm on a hot summer’s day. The costume wearer had trouble keeping his or her wig out of their eyes and was about to step into oncoming traffic. I couldn’t tell whether he or she was supposed to be a character from a scary movie, or a panther from a jungle. I didn’t stop to help and for quite some time I couldn’t figure out what had just happened until I realised what I saw was a full-grown South African trying to celebrate a decidedly American holiday: Halloween.
The macabre display wasn’t surprising though. We are moving into silly season with Movember (mens’ very own costume party: “Look, I’m Tom Selleck”) starting the countdown to Christmas and then, of course, the great crescendo: New Year.
It’s a difficult time for me. Two months of terrible twos, in my opinion. Alcoholics run wild. Churches run empty. All hell breaks loose.
The reason for all the silliness is, of course, simple: the structures that had kept the very fabric of society together for 10 months — office walls, school walls, work schedules —are breached and broken. What we’re seeing is state-sponsored anarchy. Take some time off, the state appears to be saying, we’ll keep things going with sin tax and traffic tickets. Shop, drown, drop and rest — you’ve earned it. Every silly season I notice an uptick in men screaming obscenities from the backs of bakkies, there’s a dramatic rise in exposed bierpense and Movember ’staches are kept well into December; the ends grown long and allowed to curl upward.
Children, instead of hiding from the men, come out in great numbers on beaches, planes and streets. They yell and drip ice cream. Their mothers yell about sunscreen. Their fathers get on the backs of bakkies. It’s a zoo.
I’m not going to partake. I’m doing the sensible thing this silly season and staying indoors. It’s a safe space and soon to be kitty-proof because, yes, we’re getting ourselves the gift that keeps on giving you a reason to stay home over the holidays: pets.
I’m going to build a pen for the new arrivals as per the literature I’ve read. I’m not going to throw any Christmas decorations in the pen for them to play with; not going to swing one around on New Year’s Eve to see whether there’s enough space to do so. The book says to keep the kittens close for bonding to take place and that overstimulated cats can become needy. The book also says all cats hate Christmas and everything that comes with it so we’ll be taking it easy over the next weeks — a quiet two months in.