Creator
Krisjan Lemmer
A chink
The manne were denouncing hypocrites left and right this week when they heard that plans are afoot to build a R90-million wall around the president’s Pretoria residence, but…
Go figure
An advertisement in the back pages of last week’s Mail & Guardian, placed by the government of the North West, announced a conference on ”stonewalling”. Turns out they were…
Make my day
The manne had been impressed by Deputy Minister of Health Nozizwe Madlala-Routledge, until her inevitable denial on Tuesday that she had ever actually specifically named the…
Hit me
2010 World Cup generalissimos Danny Jordaan and Irvin Khoza have denied reports that they almost came to blows three weeks ago over a travel tender that wasn’t awarded to a…
Mini-Madiba
This week News24.com reported on an SABC story gleaned from the BBC, in which Jacob Zuma promised that he would ”follow former president Nelson Mandela’s example” when it came to…
Lost
How the clot-plot clots. City Press reported that Eskom had suffered a R129-million loss in ”questionable circumstances”. On Tuesday the utility company called the report an…
Kak praat
The chief whip of the ANC in parly is making the manne weep for the return of Tony ”Fabiani” Yengeni, now resident of Malmesbury. Mbulelo Goniwe (pictured above), not the…
A singing star
Lemmer never gets The Star here in the Dorsbult. So the manne were amazed at how lekker it’s become. On the pulse and all that. This week they revealed that Mandoza’s up for the…
On your Marx
On a flyer from Virgin Active (or Virgym, as Oom Thys calls it) this week: ”Class Definition”. No, your local gym is not offering Marxist political education, it just needs to…
Winging it
At the launch of the new South African Airways (SAA) credit card, CEO Khaya Ngqula was heard to say that parents tend to neglect good children because the bad ones demand their…
Gravy train
This week the Independent Democrats were calling for reforms after the Democratic Alliance fessed up to accepting large donations from Brett Kebble. Oom Krisjan sees a pattern…
Dinkum moron
When Australian cricket commentator Dean Jones was fired for calling Hashim Amla a ”terrorist”, the manne were delighted. After all, if everyone went around indulging provocative…
Gimme a C! Gimme a Y!
Tucked away at the end of City Press‘s Sunday scoop on Cyril Ramaphosa entering the succession race, the line ”Additional reporting by Wikipedia” tweaked the Oom’s interest. A…
Dig deep
In all the excitement and panic of preparing for the 2010 World Cup, Lemmer hopes a little paragraph in Fifa’s 2004 report doesn’t go unnoticed by South Africa’s transport…
Twice as fast to nowhere
The manne would like to commend African National Congress Youth League president Fikile Mbalula for his latest online missive in which he exhorts us to ”double our efforts” in…