China’s track is in a swamp, while Bahrain’s gone sticky in the rush to jump on Ecclestone’s formula one money-go-round. The new circuits in China and Bahrain have been designed by Hermann Tilke, who also built Malaysia’s new circuit, as the sport penetrates the biggest remaining untapped market in the commercial world.

It all began with Madonna. Had she not performed at the Melbourne Cricket Ground in the summer of 1993, and had her devotees not trampled that magisterial paddock into dust, and had the shameful conditions not wrecked Brian McMillan’s knee, Gary Kirsten might not have played his 101st Test this week.

In the end, the great experiment proved a qualified success. Australia and South Africa played their friendly international at Loftus Road and 15 000 mostly expats turned up and paid their £12 to £15 for the privilege of seeing their national sides. As a game though, it wasn’t great.

Your average 57-year-old coach would not dream of wearing one of the figure-hugging jerseys manufactured for modern athletes, yet Fabio Capello looks dandy in AS Roma’s skin-tight top as he saunters into the café at the club’s plush complex at Trigoria.